Das Fuhrer needs Das Chocolate Dildo

History.  There sure is a lot of it.  Whether you are a god fearing man and believe everything began 2000 years ago, or a rational fella and understand the earth is millions of years old, there is a lot of stuff that has happened since the beginning of time.  Now, through that time, millions of incredible things have occurred.  Unfortunately, there is bad with the good.  Black to white. Yin to Yang.  Chocolate Buttholes to Chocolate Dildos.  Ya know…the usual.  I digress.  The point I’m try to make here is there have been a lot of real dark motha-fuckers who have walked this earth.  A lot of them need some chocolate cocks delivered to their ghostly grave as a reminder of their past transgressions.  That being said, none are more deserving than the man who ruined the toothbrush mustache.  Few are less cool than the dude who decided to take over the world by sheer brute strength and hate.  None deserve an artillery shelling of chocolate dildo than Mr. Adolf Hitler.  Of course we all know this.  He was pure evil.  However, a document has surfaced recently that speaks to the origin of his morbid overcompensation.

Chocolate Dildo Hitler Dick of the Day

Recent articles have been hinting at medical records uncovered in Das Dickhead’s bunker revealed some interesting things that may give some insight into why he felt the need to give the order to kill millions of people and conquer the world.  According to the book, Hitler’s Last Day: Minute to Minute, “Hitler himself is believed to have had two forms of genital abnormality: an undescended testicle and a rare condition called penile Hypospadias [sic] in which the urethra opens on the underside of the penis.”  Setting aside all that scientific mumbo jumbo, they are saying Adolf Hitler, creator of the Final Solution and one of the most evil men of all time, had one nut and a micropenis. How beautifully serendipitous.

Now, to be fair, none of this has been proven and it could end up being a couple “scholars” throwing more needed shade on one dark son of a gun.

Either way, it was funny bit of information to come across today.  It also reminded of how much of a lazy sack of shit I have been.  I told myself I would release a “Dick of the Day” well…everyday.  Then it turned to every other.  Now, I’ve defaulted to, “Dick of the Week”.  Sorry.  No one reads this trash anyways.  I’m just doing it for the keywords.  A big chocolate dildo for everyone!

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