Chumaluma ding dong – Chumlee is getting fucked by the Big Black Chocolate Dick of the Law

Yesterday, Discovery Channel aired its final Mythbusters episode and the slow death of educational television was final over.  Gone are the days when you can learn about How Things Works.  Up in smoke are the afternoons spent understanding the battle strategies of generals during the civil war.  The tragedy that is network TV has been on a steady decline for more than five years now.  Honey Boo-boo, Duck Dynasty, and Swamp People destroyed once incredibly progressive and thoughtful TV stations such as History, Discovery, or even Animal Planet. It’s almost as if the the executives have played a Funny Gag to the American people.  However, instead of following up the funny joke with a legitimate product, they had gifted us with a big black chocolate dick filled with mindless 22 minutes episodes of a family of 19 and a midget who wants to have a writing career.  It’s honestly the most un- funny gag I have ever received, and I want no part of it. It’s like asking for a high five and getting punched in the face.  I don’t like getting punched in the face.  

That being said, none have had a bigger hand in the downfall of great American television as that white trash family from Pawn Stars.  Those desert dwelling dough dicks have filmed so many shit filled episode that the History Channel doesn’t even have to try anymore. It’s a constant stream of fat faces and talking heads low balling people who have come out the woodwork to sell their family heirloom for their 30 seconds of fame.  Cheers, ‘Merica.

Big Black Chocolate Dick Chumlee Pawn Stars In true desert gutter scum fashion, Austin Lee Russell, better known as Chumlee from Pawn Stars, was taken into custody when officers serving a search warrant in a sexual assault investigation found methamphetamine, marijuana and at least one gun at his southwest Las Vegas home, police said in a statement.  Russell wasn’t booked on a sex-crime allegation. Officer Larry Hadfield, a department spokesman, said that part of the investigation stemmed from a recent complaint by a woman, and it is continuing.  Russell was being held pending an initial court appearance on 19 drug-possession charges and one weapon charge, according to Clark County Detention Center records. His bail was set at $62,000.

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