Gag Gifts : A Dick for Every Door

Gag gifts are a funny thing.  They can be thoughtful or thoughtless; biting or bitter.  Gag Gifts can strengthen a relationship and Gag Gifts can tear a friendship apart.  The point is…if you’re the type of person who likes buying gag gifts, you have to know your audience.  You have to understand how sending them a giant chocolate cock in the mail might affect and mold the relationship moving forward.  You as the sender, have to know the full consequences of paying for a big ol’ peen to be sent to your boss.  You, the funny one, must understand that telling your two-pack-a-day Aunt Rita from Mississippi to Eat A Dick by sending her a dick parcel might go over like a fart in church.  It’s a fine line we must dance between being a dick and sending a dick. Unless…

dick1 Fear not weary traveler, for has the solution for you!  Let us do the heavy lifting.  Send that dick anonymously!  No one has to know that you really hate your best friend’s girlfriend or that weird dude in your Chemistry lecture.  With Dick at Your Door, you don’t have to worry about getting your ass beat for sending that cock bag neighbor of yours who lets his dog shit in your yard every day and never, NEVER cleans it up a sloppy dick in a box.  We made this business for you, hateful little heathens.  We also made it for those people who deserve to be told to fuck off with a dick sent to them in the mail anonymously.  We made it for the people who need to be left wondering who dislikes them just enough to spend money on something like an organic chocolate dick (that is delicious by the way) by post.

Listen, we all have people we want to send these things to.  In a world where it is becoming increasingly hard to speak your mind, we are here.  We are here to say it’s okay for your grandma to get a penis package in the mail because she downgraded your birthday check from ten to five dollars.  This is America!  Land of the free and home of the brave!  We do what we want and we don’t apologize…especially when we don’t have to take ownership of our actions!

dick2So, send it to your cube mate and let him talk about the curious gag gifts he has been receiving on his birthday for the last two years.  Send it to your ex-girlfriend and let her and her new fuck boy enjoy some chocolate a-la-you.  Hell, send it to your friends and let them come to you with questions that don’t have answers.  

Let the secret that is was you all along be satisfying, because it truly is.  We’re the creators and almost no one knows who we are.  That’s the payoff.  Do you know us? Have you gotten some chocolate balls in the mail from yours truly?  Maybe….maybe not…..maybe go fuck yourself.


Leave a Reply

Add a comment