Dear Chris Christie,

Suck my big fat chocolate dick.  You are one of the most embarrassing examples of an American I have seen in all my short years.  You are more of an embarrassment than your daddy, Donald Trump.  At least he has narcissism and psychopathy to excuse (not really) his erratic behavior.  You, on the other hand, just have your poor eating habits and a mother who let you suck from the tit a bit too long.

You are soft in body and spirit.  An errand boy to a corrupt tangerine.  A consummate follower and snake in the grass that wobbles back and forth for the breadth of your mass.  You are truly a disgusting human that deserves nothing that you have.  You are a combination between Wormtail and the turd I left in the public bathrooms of Grand Central last week.  To thin that you believe you had a chance in hell of taking the presidential nomination at any point is laughable.  

At least some of the other worthless republican candidates held fast on their refusal to endorse that demagogue you call a candidate.  Not you.  No, not at all.  You were quick to see a potential shortcut to more power, so you dropped what you stood for so you could stand in line.  Your humiliation was only further magnified when Dingleberry Donald passed directly over you for Pence as the VP.  a politician without a spine is just an amoeba with no brain.  A puppet to be pointed this way and that.  A sad little man with an ego and self confidence issues.

You deserve your fate.  You deserved the trees that littered your yard after that storm last month.  Losing power in your home is a metaphor for how your political career should carry on.  What started as a promising career has turned into a dog and pony show that began with a bridge and ended at a casino.

I mean, Jesus Christ man.  Look at you.  You have a front butt the size of the Christmas ham my mom cooks for thirty homeless people down at the docks every year.  You’re camel toe is where your tiny little coin purse should be and your hot dog….well, I don’t know where the stinky, sweaty little thing has gone to.  

I’ll bet your wife emasculates you in front of your children.  I’ll bet she berates your faults and makes fun of your with your mother.  Your kids may love you, but just because they know they can walk all over you.

What a life you have created.  To hear today of how you forgave 25 million of Donald Trump’s casino debts within a year of being the New Jersey Governor isn’t even surprising.  It’s simply another step into the muck.  One more point to the argument that you’ll let just about anyone finger your balloon knot, as long as it might influence your potential political allies.  

This isn’t a frat, Chrissy.  You can’t pay for friendships.  Eat a dick, fat boi.  You’ve eaten everything else already.

Love,

Dick at Your Door.

 

Leave a Reply

Add a comment