The Blossom Chocolate Dick Penis Prank Gag Gift

Do you feel like you’ve run out of dick jokes? Look…you don’t have to answer that. The answer is pretty obvious. And it’s pretty sad – it’s even, as Donald “Orange Cock” Trump might say, “Sad!”

You just don’t have that swagger anymore, that confidence of a man hung with an arsenal of dick jokes at the ready.

But, man, you used to be great, the best. Your friends used to call you ‘Ol “Dick Prank” Jones or “Dick Jokes” Jackson – look, we don’t know what your name is. How could we? But remember the time you MacGyver’ed that cock out of household items and affixed it to your buddy’s mom’s garden gnome? Everybody really loved that. It went pretty well the second time you did it, too. The third time you used that cock gag? Well, it wasn’t so great. The same fate met your sharpie marker cock on the forehead bit you used to use on your passed-out buddies. Sure, the cock recipients wanted to punch your dick, but pretty much everyone else thought you were hilarious. That joke just ran right out steam, though. But that’s probably a good thing — it’s really not an acceptable prank, especially as you move into adulthood.

Those premium dick prank days are well in the rearview. But let’s not waste time bemoaning how far you’ve fallen, because Dick at Your Door is here for you. Soon enough, your friends will be glowing about your resurgence, saying things like, “Have you heard what ‘Ol ‘Edible Penis’ Jones did now?….Did you see the latest from “Edible Dicks Smith?”

Dick at Your Door, the world’s leading provider of mail-ordered chocolate penis gag gifts, is about to thrust you back on top. Why do we care? Where did we come from? Well, we emerged from your sorrow, your tears, your wish to be funny again.

Welcome back. Now you can tell people to “eat a dick,” and then back that up with a delicious, edible chocolate penis that comes in a keepsake box that says “EAT A DICK” on the inside flap?

But wait, delicious? Yes, these chocolate cocks aren’t mere gags. Once your chosen cock recipient starts in on phase two – cock consumption – our Dick at Your Door dicks take on a grand transmogrification. Yes, that cock gag turns into a delectable snack.

Yes, the future is now. You’re you again. Your best penis days are here. Well, they are once you start shipping chocolate penis surprises to all your friends and family members. Yes, family members. Everybody loves chocolate, and everybody wants to know you’re back on top. Just imagine your beloved aunt opening the chocolate penis box she got from you in the mail. She’ll say, “That’s the stuff! Ol ‘Dick Prank’ Jones is back on top! Now let’s have a bite of this edible dick!”

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