Need to anonymously send a milk chocolate dick to someone in the mail, but don't like my artistic talent? Aside from my feelings being hurt, that's not a problem at all!
This stripped-down, naked as they come blank chocolate dick box is meant for you... the creative winner The person who can't be put in the proverbial "box", man. You are a cock mastermind and you need a one of a kind gift.
Make it your own with a blank milk chocolate dick canvas and let the good times roll. We supply the laughs, you supply the art, the name and address.
Originally developed as a way for people to anonymously tell their friends, office colleagues, etc to "eat a dick" without the repercussions, Dick at Your Door has grown into a great way to spice up the bachelorette party, have a laugh, or just eat some great chocolate.
These four ounce milk chocolates are perfect for your white elephant party, special occasions, birthdays, Valentines Day, a stocking stuffer, bachelor or bachelorette parties or maybe it's the only present the fucker deserves.
Shipped anonymously from our warehouse in San Diego, Ca.
Orders typically take 1-3 business days to process. We ship to the US, Territories, military addresses, Canada and outside the US to most Countries. Contact us if you have any questions whatsoever.
We typically ship items within 1-3 business days. Items are not guaranteed to be delivered within a certain timeframe, as many carriers are experiencing delays due to covid-19. If you are experiencing any delays, contact the shipping carrier for more information.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Are these truly anonymous?
A: Of course. We ship everything with complete discretion. The box has a gift company as the sender and won’t give your information out, unless you do something illegal (don’t do that) or involved in a legal lawsuit (sexual harassment, stalking, etc) and we are required by law. If you’d like the recipient to know who sent the dick, include a customized message and write whatever you’d like.
Q: Is my Phone number or any other information on the package?
A: No, we don't include any customer information on or inside the package. Your phone number, email and billing details are just used to process the payment and track your order.
Q: Is the billing discreet? What shows up on my credit card statement?
A: The picture below is our public information for billing:
Q: Is this chocolate edible?
A: Sure is. Each ding dong is hand crafted with care by a certified chocolatier. **Orders on or after 5/1/20 are made with milk chocolate.
Q: How big is it?
A: Our anonymous chocolate dick gag gifts are as real as it gets. Coming right up to the American average penis size of about 5″ in length and completely solid to prevent breaking.
Q: When will my item ship?
A: Since all our chocolate is made fresh, orders are typically shipped within 2-3 business days. The processing time is in addition to the shipping option you choose. Please be aware that during busy times like holidays, processing may take a little longer than 3 business days.
Q: Have you ever had a problem with melting?
A: We have tested these chocolates in warm conditions and they went unmelted, but we’ve also had reports in mild climates where they were left on the doorstep in the sun and did melt. If you are concerned about the possibility of melting we offer insulated shipping boxes with Cold Gel Packs for a little extra.
Q: How do I know my target received the package (pun intended)?
A: Each package is tagged and easily tracked online through our shipment tracking service. Once it leaves our warehouse, you will receive that tracking number so you can check on live updates as the package reaches it’s target.
Q: Do you offer holiday/Christmas themed products?
A: Yes! Keep your eyes out for our Holiday Collections coming soon! For other holidays, we usually release products 3-4 weeks before the holiday.
A: Because what is better than sending an anonymous chocolate dick to someone in the mail? There is something really special about knowing you have given something confusing with no hope of figuring out who the culprit is. That’s a special kind of torture.
The best reactions
Gift giving is awesome. So are pranks. In the age of social media, global plagues, and all the other nonsense going on in our lives, sending a dick in the mail is something to lighten up life a little. Plus, who's going to be worried about that failed psych class when they can't stop wondering who the hell sent them a seven inch dong in the mail.
Stupid? Maybe a little...
Worth It? Every time.