Our Famous Never Ending Greeting Cards are back! Anonymously send the most confusing and offensive cards you never knew you needed
***NOTE*** If you are ordering the card activated, we assume the next person who opens the cards is the recipient. That means, when the card is opened next, it will be triggered and you will not be able to turn the sound off.
Happy Birthday, ya Dickhead!! The Never-ending birthday song is designed to be the life of your next birthday party. Whether you're having us write the custom message and send on your behalf anonymously, or getting in on the action and giving your target the gift in person, this birthday is going to get weird.
- Up to four hours of continuously looping announcement that says, "EVERYONE. I HAVE A SMALL PENIS. LOOK AT HOW SMALL MY PENIS IS". Make sure they open it in public for maximum embarrassment and panic (video below)
- Anonymously sent activate with your custom message already inside
- The only way to stop the music is to destroy the card
- When destroyed, a payload of fine glitter is there to make one final joke
- maximum satisfaction knowing you have played the ultimate birthday prank
We all have those friends, family members, co-workers, and acquaintances who deserve the best of the best. That's why we developed our Never-ending* Singing Cards for your enjoyment.
Anonymously send the card they will never forget. With up to four hours of looping embarrassing and funny sounds, these cards are designed for maximum confusion, frustration, and...well....embarrassment. Check out our entire lineup of cards here for all your favorite occasions.
Whether it's a birthday, the holidays, Valentine's Day, or just because, we know the greeting card game will never be the same again.
We typically ship items within 1-3 business days. Items are not guaranteed to be delivered within a certain timeframe, as many carriers are experiencing delays due to covid-19. If you are experiencing any delays, contact the shipping carrier for more information.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Are these truly anonymous?
A: Of course. We ship everything with complete discretion. The box has a gift company as the sender and won’t give your information out, unless you do something illegal (don’t do that) or involved in a legal lawsuit (sexual harassment, stalking, etc) and we are required by law. If you’d like the recipient to know who sent the dick, include a customized message and write whatever you’d like.
Q: Is my Phone number or any other information on the package?
A: No, we don't include any customer information on or inside the package. Your phone number, email and billing details are just used to process the payment and track your order.
Q: Is the billing discreet? What shows up on my credit card statement?
A: The picture below is our public information for billing:
Q: Is this chocolate edible?
A: Sure is. Each ding dong is hand crafted with care by a certified chocolatier. **Orders on or after 5/1/20 are made with milk chocolate.
Q: How big is it?
A: Our anonymous chocolate dick gag gifts are as real as it gets. Coming right up to the American average penis size of about 5″ in length and completely solid to prevent breaking.
Q: When will my item ship?
A: Since all our chocolate is made fresh, orders are typically shipped within 2-3 business days. The processing time is in addition to the shipping option you choose. Please be aware that during busy times like holidays, processing may take a little longer than 3 business days.
Q: Have you ever had a problem with melting?
A: We have tested these chocolates in warm conditions and they went unmelted, but we’ve also had reports in mild climates where they were left on the doorstep in the sun and did melt. If you are concerned about the possibility of melting we offer insulated shipping boxes with Cold Gel Packs for a little extra.
Q: How do I know my target received the package (pun intended)?
A: Each package is tagged and easily tracked online through our shipment tracking service. Once it leaves our warehouse, you will receive that tracking number so you can check on live updates as the package reaches it’s target.
Q: Do you offer holiday/Christmas themed products?
A: Yes! Keep your eyes out for our Holiday Collections coming soon! For other holidays, we usually release products 3-4 weeks before the holiday.
A: Because what is better than sending an anonymous chocolate dick to someone in the mail? There is something really special about knowing you have given something confusing with no hope of figuring out who the culprit is. That’s a special kind of torture.
The best reactions
Gift giving is awesome. So are pranks. In the age of social media, global plagues, and all the other nonsense going on in our lives, sending a dick in the mail is something to lighten up life a little. Plus, who's going to be worried about that failed psych class when they can't stop wondering who the hell sent them a seven inch dong in the mail.
Stupid? Maybe a little...
Worth It? Every time.
I Have a Small Penis! Never-Ending Prank Greeting Card
Great cards and dick