Valentine's Day. the ultimate manufactured holiday. Cards, candy, crushes, and secret admirers. It's all kinda played out, right? WRONG

Our new Valentine Card collection is a refreshing update to the smooches and heart shaped chocolates. The Cock Lover Card is no different

Beautifully crafted and designed card
once activated, your crush gets up to three hours of the Chorus to "Me So Horny" by 2 Live Crew
only can be stopped by destroying the card
secret payload of glitter that explodes when the card is torn apart

Imagine your coworker opening this card in your hip and wide open office space thinking it's a sweet note from their boo. Nonstop Rooster Calls coming from his or her cubicle will no doubt earn a beat red face and a stern talking to.

**If you select the card to be activated, once the card is opened, it won't stop for hours.

**If you select the card not be activated, you'll be able to activate the card yourself by pulling the tab on the card. You can write anything you want before activating the card, but once the tab is pulled, DO NOT OPEN THE CARD.

Ever wondered what it’s like to drive someone to insanity? Now you can with The Heart Boner Card. Once activated, your valentine will be treated to the classic and lyrical masterpiece of 2 Live Crew - "Me So Horny"....for up to THREE HOURS STRAIGHT. Here's a sample

We here at Dick At Your Door love a good dick prank. However, we know there are more nuanced and subtle pranks out there that will strike just as hard as our delicious chocolate dicks. That why we made the non-family friendly anti wholesome everlasting Heart Boner Card.

Designed to look like a cute Valentine's Day Card, this card pack a wallop when the recipient opens it to hear what starts out as a country love song, only to quickly turn sexual and make porn sounds for hours without being able to turn it off.

The only way to stop the Valentine's girl moaning sound card is to tear the card to shreds. Good thing there is a payload of hidden glitter inside. It’s simply diabolical.

Imagine your coworker opening this card in your hip and wide open office space. Screams of pleasure coming from his or her cubicle will no doubt earn a beat red face and a stern talking to.

Happy Pranking, Friends.

You Give My Heart a Boner - Endless Funny Valentine's Card