Obesity Epidemic
Sam Day 1-3 Day Shipping When Ordered by 3PM EST
100% Anonymous
and 100% Hilarious
Over 1500 Five
Star Reviews
Description
👕 Childhood Obesity Survivor Tee – Embrace the humor, people! Wear it with pride, 'cause we all have that inner child with a craving for sweets and snacks!
🌟 100% Combed and Ring-Spun Cotton – Smooth like that slick comeback you thought of way too late.
🔥 Lightweight with 4.2 oz/yd² – Not too heavy, not too light – just like a perfectly cooked slice of bacon.
💪 Pre-shrunk Fabric – Ain't nobody got time for shrinking tees, we've got a life to live, right?
🚀 Side-Seamed Construction – Keeps you lookin' sharp, just like me trying to dress up for a fancy event.
🤝 Shoulder-to-Shoulder Taping – It's like a group hug for your shirt, holding everything together.
🎨 Heather Colors with a Dash of Polyester – Like adding some spice to your jokes, 'cause plain is boring.
🕰️ Made-to-Order – Patience, my friend. We'll ship it within 4 business days – you can hold off on those donuts for a bit!
💸 100% Guaranteed – No worries, if you don't laugh, you get your money back, just like a comedy show with a no-laugh policy.
🎉 Featured on Comedy Central, Barstool, and Funny or Die – Yup, we're famous in the funny business, baby!
So, what are you waiting for? Grab this hilarious tee from Dick At Your Door and rock that Childhood Obesity Survivor status with a big, belly laugh! Laughter is the best medicine, right? Well, after donuts and pizza. Add it to your cart and let's keep the good times rollin'! 🤣
YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
IS THIS CHOCOLATE EDIBLE?
Sure is! Each ding Dong is hand crafted with care by a certified chocolatier. 100% vegan and they’re absolutely delicious.
SO... HOW BIG IS IT?
This chocoalte turd packs a bunch at 4OZ or lumpy, vegan chocolate goodness. Fake poop is the funniest when given anonymously.
WHEN WILL MY ITEM SHIP?
Since all our chocolate is made fresh, orders are typically shipped within 2-3 business days. The processing time is in addition to the shipping option you choose. Please be Aware that during busy times like holidays, processing May take a little longer than 3 business days.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH MELTING?
We have tested these chocolates in warm conditions and they went unmelted, but we’ve also had reports in mild climates where they were left on the doorstep in the Sun and did melt. If you are concerned about the possibility of melting we offer insulated shipping boxes with cold gel packs for a little extra.
HOW DO I KNOW MY TARGET RECEIVED THE PACKAGE (PUN INTENDED)?
Each package is tagged and easily tracked online through our shipment tracking service. Once it leaves our warehouse, you Will receive that tracking number so you can check on live updates as the package reaches it’s Target.
WHY?
Because what is better than sending an anonymous chocolate Dick to someone in the mail? There is something really special about knowing you have given something confusing with no hope of figuring out who the culprit is. That’s a special kind of torture.
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