Talentless but connected
Sam Day 1-3 Day Shipping When Ordered by 3PM EST
100% Anonymous
and 100% Hilarious
Over 1500 Five
Star Reviews
Description
👕 "Talentless But Connected" Tee – Embrace the truth with a good ol' belly laugh!
🌟 100% Combed and Ring-Spun Cotton – As smooth as that slick buddy who got you the hookup.
🔥 Lightweight with 4.2 oz/yd² – Not too heavy, not too light – just like the perfect balance of networking and goofing around.
💪 Pre-shrunk Fabric – 'Cause shrinking your chances is a big no-no!
🚀 Side-Seamed Construction – Keeps you lookin' sharp, even if your talents don't make the cut.
🤝 Shoulder-to-Shoulder Taping – Like forming alliances in the jungle of life!
🎨 Heather Colors with a Dash of Polyester – Add a pinch of style to your well-connected sense of humor.
🕰️ Made-to-Order – Patience, my friend. We'll ship it within 4 business days – your connections will keep you entertained in the meantime!
💸 100% Guaranteed – No worries, if the jokes fall flat, we've got your back, money-back guarantee style!
🎉 Featured on Comedy Central, Barstool, and Funny or Die – Oh yeah, we've got the right connections in the funny biz!
So, step into the spotlight, my friend, and rock that "Talentless But Connected" tee with a big, confident smile! Who needs talent when you've got connections, right? Add it to your cart and let's network our way to some good times! 🤣
YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
IS THIS CHOCOLATE EDIBLE?
Sure is! Each ding Dong is hand crafted with care by a certified chocolatier. 100% vegan and they’re absolutely delicious.
SO... HOW BIG IS IT?
This chocoalte turd packs a bunch at 4OZ or lumpy, vegan chocolate goodness. Fake poop is the funniest when given anonymously.
WHEN WILL MY ITEM SHIP?
Since all our chocolate is made fresh, orders are typically shipped within 2-3 business days. The processing time is in addition to the shipping option you choose. Please be Aware that during busy times like holidays, processing May take a little longer than 3 business days.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH MELTING?
We have tested these chocolates in warm conditions and they went unmelted, but we’ve also had reports in mild climates where they were left on the doorstep in the Sun and did melt. If you are concerned about the possibility of melting we offer insulated shipping boxes with cold gel packs for a little extra.
HOW DO I KNOW MY TARGET RECEIVED THE PACKAGE (PUN INTENDED)?
Each package is tagged and easily tracked online through our shipment tracking service. Once it leaves our warehouse, you Will receive that tracking number so you can check on live updates as the package reaches it’s Target.
WHY?
Because what is better than sending an anonymous chocolate Dick to someone in the mail? There is something really special about knowing you have given something confusing with no hope of figuring out who the culprit is. That’s a special kind of torture.
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