The 10 Best Dick Jokes of All Time

It's no secret that penises are kind of hilarious. They're odd-looking, they jiggle when you walk, and they have a mind of their own sometimes. It's only natural that people would want to make jokes about them! In this blog post, we'll be counting down the ten best dick jokes of all time. So sit back, relax, and get ready to laugh your penis off.

1. A dick has it rough. Not only are his closest friends nuts, but his backdoor neighbor’s an asshole. And if that weren’t enough, he regularly takes a beating.
2. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Because he only comes once a year!
3. What did the penis say to the vagina? "Don't cum near me" 
4. Political opinions are like dicks. "It's OK to have them, just don't shove them down people's throats"
5. Masturbating is for dicks.
6. What did the elephant say to the naked man? "How do you breathe through that thing?"
7. There are three naughty boys in a classroom: Zip, Dick, and Pea. The teacher leaves the room and Zip gets on top of her desk, Dicks goes inside a cabinet and Pea runs out the window and eaves. The Teacher comes back and says, "Hey, Zip down, Dick out, and Pea in the Corner" 
8. Did you hear about the man with five dicks? "His pants fit like a glove" 
9. What do you call a penis on a beach getaway? "Sunny D" 
10. Did you know that men have three knees? "The right knee, the left knee and the wee knee."

And there you have it! The ten best dick jokes, but none still compare to sending someone a chocolate dick for the holidays. We hope you enjoyed reading (and laughing) as much as we did. If you have any other good ones that we didn't mention, feel free to share them in the comments section below. Happy joking!