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Adam Neumann is a Cock and He Needs a Dick

Adam Neumann is a Cock and He Needs a Dick

  • Dick At Your Door

I guess if you have been reading the blogs the last couple of weeks, you dear reader, have found a trend.  Giving shit to rich people for being out of touch.

This week's dick of the week is the kooky founder of WeWork, Adam Neumann.  Once thought of as a visionary (and rightly so), his sand castles seem to be falling into the ocean of shit he has created.  Fortunately for him, it seems his sand castle had a helipad and he'll make off with all the gold.  1.7 Billion to step down.  Must be rough.

Now, here's the kicker.  His soon to be former company was expected to lay off thousands this week.  However, that's on hold now because the company can't pay for severance packages.  Founder gets 1.7B and the company can't pay severance?  Someone needs a big ol' chocolate dick.  Fast.

From Business Insider:

WeWork, it seems, is in a bit of a Catch-22.

With money running short after a failed initial public offering, WeWork has been planning on laying off thousands of employees. There's only one problem: It's so short on cash that it doesn't have enough money to pay severance to affected workers, according to The Wall Street Journal's Liz Hoffman and Maureen Farrell.

So, WeWork, which is believed to be in danger of running out of cash within a month without new financing, has postponed the layoffs, The Journal reported Monday.

A WeWork representative did not respond to an email seeking comment.

The delay could be temporary. WeWork's board is expected to meet Tuesday to consider new funding offers from SoftBank and JPMorgan. Both deals would involve propping up the struggling company with billions of new dollars in additional cash.

WeWork's new co-CEOs told employees in an email last week that the company planned to lay off workers in coming weeks.

As reports of imminent layoffs have swirled, severance packages have been a hot topic of conversation inside WeWork. Workers have peppered management with questions around it recently and have focused particularly on what will happen with their outstanding shares in the company, one person familiar with the matter told Business Insider. Employees have also been asking whether their severance package will take into account any stock they are owed.

Many employees were paid partially in shares. Others received WeWork shares when the company acquired their startups. In many cases the shares they received carried a much higher value then than they do now.

SoftBank valued WeWork at $47 billion in a funding round in January. The reported bailouts proposed by it and JPMorgan would place the company's value at $8 billion or less.

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What assholes.  

Thanks to a bloated valuation, not only are thousands probably not going to get a severance package, business owners who trusted the co-working giant are left in the cold with shares that equal a fraction of their initial value.

And Adam Neumann rides off into the sunset a newly minted Billionaire.

Class.

-Dick Tater

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