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Dick of the Week is Back!

Dick Of The Day - April 19, 2022

This Dick’s for You, Mr. Wand Wielder

After being dormant for nearly a year, we’re bringing it back!

Dick at Your Door was started as a fun way to prank your friends, family, neighbor or anyone you think would get a kick out of opening a “package” delivered right to their door.  Good thing there is absolutely no shortage of people who truly deserve to “Eat A Dick”.

Take our friend Skylar Eros Dupree Thomas of Woodbury, MN. This little muggle biatch got himself arrested on April 15th for attacking a hotel worker with…a wand.  Not only does this dude have way too many names in his name.  He’s out there slanging curses like it’s Merlin’s birthday party. SMH.

Skylar Eros Dupree Thomas, 29, of Woodbury, is charged with fifth-degree assault and trespassing in connection to the April 15 incident at the Hyatt Place Hotel. 

Thomas, who had previously been trespassed from the hotel in November 2021, used a 16-inch wand he'd made out of a stick during the incident, which prompted the hotel employee to pull out a gun in an effort to defend himself, court documents allege. No injuries were reported. 

Thomas was scheduled to make his first court appearance in Hennepin County District Court Monday morning. 

According to the criminal complaint, Bloomington police responded to a report of a person with a weapon at the Hyatt Place Hotel, 7800 International Drive, at 12:12 a.m. on April 15. Police located and detained Thomas. 

Thomas admitted to having a "wand" on him, charges said. Police knew, from previous calls, Thomas was referencing a stick he’d fashioned to look like a wizard’s wand. The wand is about 16 inches long and has a "hard, pointed metal part at the end" and has a "knife-like appearance," the complaint said. 

 

The hotel employee who had called police said Thomas walked into the hotel and extended his hand into a bowl of room keys. The employee recognized Thomas because he had been issued a trespass notice on Nov. 22, 2021, which was valid through Nov. 22, 2022, which prohibited him from entering the hotel and the hotel’s parking lot. 

The worker asked Thomas to leave, but Thomas argued with him and called him racial slurs, charges allege. The worker told Thomas he had been trespassed and asked him several more times to leave the hotel. 

The worker then walked about six feet behind Thomas as Thomas exited the hotel, but that’s when Thomas pulled out the wand, which the hotel employee thought was a 12-inch knife, and stepped toward the worker. 

The worker said Thomas came within approximately three to four feet of him, so the worker said he pulled out a handgun and pointed it at Thomas (the worker has a permit to carry), charges said. Thomas then turned around, kicked over a garbage can and started walking away. 

The worker called 911 and followed Thomas, who turned around and pointed the "wand" at the victim again, the complaint says. The worker then kicked the defendant a "couple of times" and Thomas fled. 

A witness told police the hotel employee "politely" asked Thomas to leave the hotel and Thomas responded with racial slurs, charges said. Thomas then turned around and took a step toward the employee with a "metal-looking knife or switchblade" in his hand. The witness added Thomas "appeared unfazed" by the employee pointing a gun at him. 

Honestly, until Thomas pulled out the racial slurs, we here at Dick At Your Door weren’t quite sure who deserved the dick.  It’s only a wand, bro.  Let the little cosplayer cosplay his way into a fun night.  Because let’s be real, working at a hotel during the evening shift has a 99% chance of being almost the most boring job in existence.

Use racial slurs, you get a dick.  Dick head.

The hand in the key jar is weird too.

Congrats, Skyler Four Names, you're the first Dick of the Day for 2022.  Welcome to the club you didn’t want to be in.

Who would be your dick of the week this week?