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Bag of Dicks – Gummy Penis Candy
Sweet, Chewy, and Just the Right Amount of Wrong
Sometimes words just don’t cut it. You can tell someone to “eat a dick,” or… you can actually send them a literal bag of dicks. Fruity, colorful, chewy gummy penis candy packed in a burlap sack that screams “classy chaos.” It’s rude, it’s hilarious, and yes - it tastes damn good.
👉 Stop talking shit and start sending shit. Click that order button and make someone laugh, gag, and snack at the same time.
Why This Works Better Than Flowers or Chocolate
Let’s be real: flowers wilt, chocolates get boring, but penis candy? That sticks in the memory forever. When your buddy, your ex, or your bestie opens a package expecting something sweet, and instead finds a sack full of dick candy - that’s comedy gold.
This isn’t just about being funny. It’s about giving the kind of gift people won’t shut up about. Whether it’s at a bachelorette, birthday, or White Elephant, this bag of gummy dicks is the punchline you can eat.
- Hilarious as hell – candy dicks shaped like tiny cocks, guaranteed to get laughs.
- Actually tasty – fruity, chewy, addicting. You’ll forget you’re eating penis gummies.
- Flexible AF – order double or triple the dicks if you want to go big.
- Custom note option – from “Happy Birthday” to “Choke on this,” your message makes it extra savage.
- Ships 100% anonymously – they’ll never know it was you… unless you want them to.
A Story They’ll Tell for Years
Picture this: your friend gets a package. They rip it open, thinking it’s cookies or maybe a gift card. Nope. Out pours a rainbow pile of candy penises across their kitchen counter. The room goes silent. Then comes the laughter, the gasps, the “what the actual hell” faces. Someone dares to eat one. They realize these little dicks are actually delicious. Next thing you know, everyone’s popping cock candy like Skittles and choking on laughter.
Fast forward to the group chat later: “Who the fuck sent me penis candy?” And just like that, you’ve created a memory that outlasts every other boring gift they got this year.
What’s in the Sack
- Fruity gummy penis candy – chewy, colorful, fresh, and sealed for maximum laugh potential.
- Novelty burlap sack packaging – rustic, ridiculous, and unforgettable.
- Double or triple upgrade – more dicks, more laughs, more chaos.
- Optional message – personalize your prank, go sweet or savage.
- Anonymous delivery – no fingerprints, no regrets, just pure candy dick mayhem.
This isn’t just a prank gift - it’s a bag of candy dicks that delivers both laughter and legit tasty sugar highs.
Be the Legend Who Sent the Dicks
Anybody can buy a boring candle or a gift card. But it takes a true hero to say, “Hey, eat a dick,” and then back it up with a literal bag of dick candy. Whether it’s a prank, a bachelorette bundle, or just petty fun, this gift turns any moment into a comedy special.
👉 Don’t be basic. Smash that button and be the legend who sent candy penises in bulk. The laughs will be bigger than the gummy cocks inside.
IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.
**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**
*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*



YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
IS THIS CHOCOLATE EDIBLE?
Sure is! Each ding Dong is hand crafted with care by a certified chocolatier. 100% vegan and they’re absolutely delicious.
SO... HOW BIG IS IT?
This chocoalte turd packs a bunch at 4OZ or lumpy, vegan chocolate goodness. Fake poop is the funniest when given anonymously.
WHEN WILL MY ITEM SHIP?
Since all our chocolate is made fresh, orders are typically shipped within 2-3 business days. The processing time is in addition to the shipping option you choose. Please be Aware that during busy times like holidays, processing May take a little longer than 3 business days.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH MELTING?
We have tested these chocolates in warm conditions and they went unmelted, but we’ve also had reports in mild climates where they were left on the doorstep in the Sun and did melt. If you are concerned about the possibility of melting we offer insulated shipping boxes with cold gel packs for a little extra.
HOW DO I KNOW MY TARGET RECEIVED THE PACKAGE (PUN INTENDED)?
Each package is tagged and easily tracked online through our shipment tracking service. Once it leaves our warehouse, you Will receive that tracking number so you can check on live updates as the package reaches it’s Target.
WHY?
Because what is better than sending an anonymous chocolate Dick to someone in the mail? There is something really special about knowing you have given something confusing with no hope of figuring out who the culprit is. That’s a special kind of torture.
This product is rated 4.8 of 5.0 stars.
It has received 1412 reviews.










