Bag Of D’s – The Candy That Says Exactly What You Mean

Tell Someone to Eat a Bag of Dicks… Literally

Sometimes you don’t need a Hallmark card. Sometimes you don’t need flowers. Sometimes you just need to tell someone, “Eat a bag of dicks.” And now you can – with actual chewy, fruity, dick-shaped gummies stuffed in a burlap sack. The Bag Of D’s is the savage, hilarious, and oddly delicious way to prank your friends, roast your ex, or drop the funniest gag gift of the year.

👉 Don’t just talk smack. Send a bag o dicks right to their doorstep and become a legend in their group chat.

Why This Gift Works Every Damn Time

Most gifts are forgettable. No one remembers who gave them that boring bottle of wine or generic Amazon gift card. But you know what people do remember? The day they ripped open a package and gummy dicks spilled all over the table. That memory lives rent-free in their head forever.

This bag of dicks isn’t just a gag – it’s a statement. It says you care enough to buy something both crude and edible. It’s the perfect mix of stupid and genius.

• Hilarious – a burlap sack full of dick gummies is comedy gold.

• Edible – fruity, chewy candy that actually tastes good.

• Customizable – add a personal note to twist the knife (sweetly or savagely).

• Scalable – double or triple the dicks if you’re really trying to make a point.

• Anonymous – shipped with no sender info so you can deny everything.

Picture the Chaos

Imagine this: your buddy Dave opens what he thinks is a care package. He pulls out a sack, confused, unties it, and suddenly his lap is full of bright, chewy penis candy. His girlfriend’s screaming with laughter, his mom’s horrified, and he’s just sitting there holding a gummy dick like, “What the hell?”

Fast forward to later that night – the dicks are gone, everyone’s sugar high, and you’re the undisputed MVP of prank gifts. That’s the power of the Bag of D’s. It’s not just candy – it’s a story that gets retold every damn time you see them.

What’s Inside the Bag

• Fruity gummy dicks – chewy, colorful, and sealed fresh.

• Burlap sack packaging – because nothing says “classy” like rustic dick storage.

• Personalized message option – from “Happy Birthday” to “Choke on these.”

• Bigger options – double or triple the dicks if one bag isn’t enough.

• 100% anonymous shipping – no one will ever know you sent the bag o dicks.

This isn’t just candy. It’s edible comedy wrapped up in one savage little package.

Don’t Be Boring. Be Legendary.

Anyone can show up with a bottle of booze or a dumb novelty mug. But if you want to go down in history as the funniest, most savage gift-giver of all time, the Bag of D’s is your ticket. Whether it’s a bachelorette, a birthday, or just a random Tuesday when someone deserves to be roasted – this is the move.

👉 Smash that button now and be the legend who literally sent a bag of dicks. Because life’s too short to give lame gifts.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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