Happy Birthday Bag of Dicks – Because Cake is Overrated 🎉🍆

You know what’s better than balloons, boring Hallmark cards, and some half-assed cupcakes from Costco? A literal bag of dicks. Fruity, chewy, brightly-colored gummy dicks. Ten of them. Each one screaming “Happy Birthday” in the most disrespectful-yet-delicious way possible.

If you’ve ever wanted to tell your best friend, sibling, or that coworker who thinks they’re hot shit to “eat a bag of dicks,” now’s your chance. Except this time, it’s not an insult. It’s candy. It’s sweet. It’s funny. And it’s the one gift that guarantees their birthday will be unforgettable.

👉 Don’t just say Happy Birthday. Say it with dicks.

Why a Bag of Dicks Beats Every Other Birthday Gift

Because it’s impossible not to laugh. You can buy socks, gift cards, or another bottle of cheap wine… but will anyone remember that a week from now? Hell no. But send them a bag of penis gummy candy and trust me - that story’s going straight to the group chat.

Each bag comes stuffed with 10 gummy dicks in assorted fruity flavors. They’re soft, chewy, tasty, and shaped exactly like what you think. It’s equal parts childish and genius. They’ll either laugh their ass off, snap a pic for Instagram, or shove one in their mouth and admit, “Okay, these actually taste good.”

When to Send a Birthday Bag of Dicks

This isn’t just for one type of friend. A bag of dicks is versatile - like the Swiss Army knife of gag gifts. Here’s when to pull the trigger:

• Birthday roast - Perfect for the buddy who deserves to be taken down a peg.

• Milestone birthdays - Nothing says “welcome to 30” like a sack of gummy cocks.

• Office gag gift - When HR isn’t looking, obviously.

• Revenge surprise - Petty payback never tasted so fruity.

• Anonymous chaos - Ship it without a name and let the mystery eat them alive.

What You’re Actually Getting

• The Goods: 10 gummy dicks in assorted fruity flavors.

• The Package: A cheeky Happy Birthday bag design that makes the joke land harder.

• The Delivery: Shipped in discreet wrapping so your secret prank stays safe.

• The Guarantee: 100% anonymous shipping. They’ll never know it was you.

Real Birthday Shenanigans

One customer swapped out their roommate’s candy bowl with these. Another slipped a bag into their sister’s gift pile. Someone else mailed it to their ex with no note, just vibes. The reactions? Priceless. From full-on belly laughs to text messages like “WTF did you just send me?” - this bag of dicks always delivers.

And let’s be real - birthdays are supposed to be fun. Too many people take them too seriously. A cake you’ll forget. A gift card you’ll misplace. But a bag of dicks? That becomes legend.

Time to Send Some Birthday Dicks

You’re already here. You’ve already laughed just thinking about it. Now imagine their face when they rip open a package and find 10 rainbow gummy penises staring back. That’s the moment you buy. That’s the story you’ll tell for years.

👉 Click Add to Cart and ship a Happy Birthday bag of dicks today. Because life’s short - eat candy cocks.

IMPORTANT: If you are sending to someone else make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. 

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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