Eat Ass Chocolate + Valentine's Dick Gummies

Eat Ass Chocolate + Valentine’s Dick Gummies

Because roses are overrated and chocolate-covered buttholes aren’t

Forget the tired-ass clichés of Valentine’s Day. Flowers die, teddy bears collect dust, and those overpriced heart-shaped chocolate boxes taste like sadness and regret. If you really want to make an impression this year, send something bold, hilarious, and borderline inappropriate - the Eat Ass Chocolate + Valentine’s Dick Gummies Bundle.

Inside this glorious box of chaos, you’ll find smooth, handcrafted chocolate buttholes proudly stamped with “EAT ASS” (subtle, right?) and a bag of sweet-and-sour dick gummies shaped like tiny penises in bright Valentine’s colors. It’s sexy, it’s stupid, it’s shocking, and it’s guaranteed to make someone laugh so hard they snort wine through their nose.

👉 Skip the boring Hallmark crap. Order now and deliver chocolate butts and gummy dicks straight to their door, anonymously.

Why settle for flowers when you can send dicks and asses?

Valentine’s Day gifts are usually about romance. Candles, roses, jewelry… snooze. But what about laughter? What about the kind of gift that turns into a legendary story they’ll tell for years? That’s what this bundle delivers.

The Eat Ass Chocolate is actually good - handmade in California, rich, creamy, and hilariously inappropriate. The Valentine’s Dick Gummies? Fruity, chewy, sour-sweet perfection in a bag that proudly screams “Heartfelt Love” while being filled with multicolored tiny dicks. Together, they form a power couple: butts and dicks, united at last.

• Handcrafted chocolate buttholes - stamped “EAT ASS” for subtlety’s evil twin
• Colorful sweet-and-sour gummy dicks - fruity, chewy, and unforgettable
• Valentine’s Day themed bundle - way better than cliché flowers
• Custom anonymous delivery option - so they’ll never know it was you
• 100% laughter guaranteed - or you’re probably dead inside

Imagine the chaos you’ll cause

Picture this: your crush gets a sleek Valentine’s package. They expect roses or jewelry. They open it and - surprise - it’s a bag of multicolored gummy dicks and chocolate buttholes labeled “EAT ASS.” They laugh, they blush, maybe they text you something you can screenshot and frame.

Or maybe you’re the couple who roasts each other every year. You skip the fancy dinner, toss this bundle across the table, and watch your partner cackle while chewing a cherry-flavored dick. It’s foreplay, comedy, and sugar all in one.

Hell, maybe you’re single. Maybe you just want to send your ex a “romantic” anonymous delivery. Nothing screams closure like telling someone to eat ass - in chocolate form.

What you’re really buying

• Actual quality chocolate - handmade, not that gas station crap
• NSFW candy with a sense of humor - perfect for adult-only laughs
• A Valentine’s Day gift people actually remember - because nobody brags about getting carnations
• An edible gag gift - that tastes as good as it insults
• Anonymous shipping - maximum mystery, maximum chaos

Ready to drop the funniest Valentine’s gift ever?

Life’s too short for boring gifts. With the Eat Ass Chocolate + Valentine’s Dick Gummies Bundle, you’re not just giving candy - you’re delivering an experience. A mix of laughter, shock, and “oh my god, did they really send me this?” energy.

👉 Click buy now and be the reason someone spends Valentine’s Day eating butts and dicks (the fun kind).

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it is you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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