All the Dicks For Valentine's Day

All the Dicks for Valentine’s Day

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, Here’s a Box of Dicks… Just for You

Forget the flowers, screw the teddy bears, and don’t even think about dropping $90 on some half-dead roses from 1-800-Overpriced. If you really want to shock someone this Valentine’s Day, go nuclear: send them All the Dicks for Valentine’s Day.

This isn’t just a box of chocolate. It’s not just candy dicks. It’s not even just a prank bomb. This is the full buffet of chaos: the Be Mine Chocolate Dick Box, the I’m Nuts About You Chocolate Dick Box, a bag of fruity gummy dicks, a glitter-loaded prank-ready dick bomb, and the kicker… a cheeky Emojibator “Go F*** Yourself” Edition. Basically, it’s Cupid on steroids - and Cupid’s packing heat.

👉 Don’t half-ass Valentine’s. Full-ass it. Click the damn button and send ALL the dicks while supplies last.

Why This is the Only Valentine’s Gift That Matters

Valentine’s Day is a scam, my friend. You spend too much money, you stress about the “perfect gift,” and what do you get in return? Melted chocolate from Walgreens and some pity sex. Hard pass.

Here’s the truth: people remember laughter way longer than they remember flowers. Send someone the All the Dicks bundle and you’re not just giving them chocolate - you’re giving them a story. A memory. A reason to tell their friends, “You’ll never believe what showed up at my door.” That’s what makes this the most legendary Valentine’s Day gift you can buy.

• Perfect for lovers with a dirty sense of humor - nothing says “be mine” like a chocolate dick.
• Savage revenge for an ex - let them know you’ve moved on by mailing chaos to their doorstep.
• Galentine’s Day win - show your besties you care by gifting them gummy dicks and a vibrator that literally says “Go F*** Yourself.”
• Guaranteed laughs - because no one forgets the day they got dicks delivered in every form imaginable.

The Story Practically Writes Itself

Picture it: your boyfriend thinks he’s getting some sweet romantic package. He opens the box, and BOOM - a glitter dick bomb goes off, spraying sparkles everywhere. His face turns red while you’re on the floor laughing your ass off. He wipes glitter off his shirt only to find two chocolate dick boxes staring back at him - “Be Mine” and “I’m Nuts About You.” He thinks that’s it, but nope, there’s also a bag of gummy dicks just chilling like, hey buddy, eat us too.

And just when he’s about to recover, there it is: the Emojibator “Go F*** Yourself” Edition. A literal mic drop of dick gifts. That’s not just Valentine’s - that’s a love story your group chat will be talking about for years.

What’s in the Bundle

• Be Mine Chocolate Dick Box - a romantic twist on edible dicks, perfect for the one you love (or tolerate).
• I’m Nuts About You Chocolate Dick Box - rich chocolate, hilarious message, nut jokes included.
• Bag of fruity gummy dicks - chewy, sweet, fruity chaos.
• Spring-loaded glitter dick bomb - prank-ready and guaranteed to explode harder than your ex’s rebound.
• Emojibator “Go F* Yourself” Edition** - because nothing says Valentine’s like a vibrator with attitude.
• Anonymous shipping + free express shipping on qualifying orders.

Don’t Do Basic. Do Legendary.

This Valentine’s Day, don’t be the dude or gal who brings a lame-ass teddy bear to the table. Be the legend who dropped all the dicks, all day in one savage package. Chocolate, candy, pranks, glitter, and a vibrator? That’s not a gift - that’s a whole experience.

👉 Smash that order button now and own Valentine’s Day forever. Your partner, your ex, or your bestie will never forget it.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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