The Don Box - Eat a Dick

The Don Box – When Chocolate Meets Dickhead Energy

Let’s cut the crap: flowers are dead plants, teddy bears end up in closets, and heart-shaped candy tastes like chalk. You want a gift that slaps, shocks, and makes them laugh so hard they choke on their wine. Enter The Don Box – a solid 5.5-inch handcrafted milk chocolate dick (and yes, you’re allowed to round up and call it seven, champ).

This isn’t some mass-produced grocery store junk. This is ethically sourced cacao from small farms in Ecuador, hand-ground and poured in Southern California, sculpted into the world’s funniest shape, then tucked into a limited-edition Valentine’s Day gift box that screams class while the inside screams pure chaos. Shipped 100% anonymously, wrapped discreetly, and guaranteed to cause laughter, awkward silence, or both.

👉 Stop being basic. Send a chocolate dick that makes Valentine’s, birthdays, or any random Tuesday unforgettable.

Why You Need To Send The Don Box

Because deep down, everyone loves chocolate - and nobody expects it shaped like this. The Don Box isn’t just about sugar and cocoa. It’s about making a memory so ridiculous it can’t be erased. A romantic roast. A prank with flavor. A gag gift that doubles as dessert.

Here’s why The Don Box has legend status:

• Solid 5.5 Inches of Chocolate Glory - Big enough to impress, small enough to eat without calling your therapist.
• Ethically Sourced & Handcrafted - This isn’t Hershey’s. This is gourmet dick from Ecuador to Cali.
• Limited Edition Valentine’s Day Box - Sleek packaging makes the punchline even harder.
• 100% Anonymous Shipping - It’s your prank, not your problem.
• Universal Use Cases - Perfect for Valentine’s, bachelorettes, birthdays, revenge, or “just because I’m an asshole.”

The Don Box Story

Imagine this: it’s Valentine’s night. They’re expecting jewelry, roses, maybe a love letter. They open the box and BAM - there it is. A milk chocolate dick staring back at them. At first, they’re speechless. Then they’re laughing so hard they almost drop it. Five minutes later, they’re eating it. Joke’s on them - it’s actually delicious.

Or maybe it’s your buddy’s birthday. You hand over the sleek Valentine’s box. He thinks you’re sweet. He opens it. Suddenly, the whole party is crying laughing, and he’s taking selfies with chocolate balls on his face. That’s friendship. That’s The Don Box.

One customer put it best: “This was the funniest Valentine’s I’ve ever had. My girlfriend laughed, snapped pics, then devoured it. Five stars.”

Another? “I sent this to my ex. She posted it on Instagram. No regrets.”

That’s the energy The Don Box delivers - from prank to punchline to chocolate coma.

What You’re Actually Sending

• Solid 5.5-inch milk chocolate dick (bragging rights say seven)
• Handcrafted from ethically sourced Ecuadorian cacao
• Limited-edition Valentine’s Day packaging
• Discreet, anonymous shipping from San Diego
• Optional custom message to twist the knife or seal the laugh

Be The Hero Of Bad Decisions

Anyone can send a bouquet. Anyone can send boring chocolate. But only legends send a choco dick that’s both hysterical and edible. It’s bold, it’s inappropriate, and it’s the only gift they’ll remember years from now.

👉 Don’t half-ass your next prank or Valentine’s gift. Go full Don. Send a chocolate dick in a box that’ll have them laughing, blushing, and probably licking their fingers.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient’s name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it’s you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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