Christmas Greeting Card - Eat a Bag of Dicks

The Holiday Card That Says What You’re Really Thinking

Tired of writing “Merry Christmas” for the hundredth time? Sick of pretending you care about cousin Dave’s new snowblower? Skip the fake cheer and send a card that tells it straight: Eat a Bag of Dicks. This festive little folded card looks innocent on the outside, but once opened, it delivers the bluntest, funniest, most brutally honest holiday message of all time.

👉 Don’t just send a card. Send chaos. Click that order button now and be the hero who made Christmas way less boring.

Why This Card Is the Perfect Christmas Prank

The holidays are full of lies. “I love fruitcake.” “Your sweater is so cute.” “I’m not drunk.” Enough is enough. This Christmas Greeting Card Eat a Bag of Dicks cuts through all the polite nonsense and gets right to the point.

Whether you’re roasting a friend, trolling your family’s white elephant exchange, or sliding it into a stocking for a little holiday chaos, this is the kind of gift people don’t just laugh at - they remember.

• Festive on the outside - classic holiday design that looks totally normal

• Savage on the inside - “Eat a Bag of Dicks” hits like a candy cane to the face

• Quality cardstock - sturdy enough to hold all that sass

• Includes envelope - because even rudeness deserves nice packaging

• Anonymous shipping - no return address, no evidence, total deniability

A Christmas Story They’ll Never Forget

Picture it: the family is gathered around the tree. Everyone’s opening their cards. Grandma gets a sweet one from Aunt Linda. Your friend opens yours, smiling at the festive design. Then they open it up - and BAM. “Eat a Bag of Dicks.” The room goes silent for a beat before erupting in laughter. Someone spits eggnog. Someone else is crying with laughter. Grandma clutches her pearls.

Fast forward a week - that card is still pinned to their fridge, still making people laugh every time they see it. It’s not just a card, it’s a holiday legend.

What You’re Really Sending

• Folded Christmas card - festive outside, filthy inside

• Printed message: “Eat a Bag of Dicks” - blunt, brutal, hilarious

• Made of quality cardstock - because cheap paper won’t cut it for this burn

• White envelope included - clean, crisp, ready for delivery

• Ships 100 percent anonymously - no branding, no sender info, just pure prank

This isn’t just another Christmas card. It’s an inappropriate holiday card that delivers laughs harder than Santa after spiked eggnog.

Deck the Halls With Dick-Themed Cheer

Why settle for boring cards when you can send the funniest Christmas greeting card ever made? Whether it’s for friends, frenemies, or just because you’re tired of being nice, this card gets the job done. It’s festive, it’s rude, and it’s guaranteed to get a reaction.

👉 Stop writing “Merry Christmas” like a coward. Order now and send a Christmas card that says exactly what you’re thinking.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it is you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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