Christmas Tree Card

Because Nothing Says “Holiday Spirit” Like an Erect Tree

Sure, you could send a sweet, sappy Christmas card with a snowman and some lame “Season’s Greetings” message. Or... you could send a card that gets straight to the point: “I Like You How I Like My Christmas Tree – Erect.” It’s bold. It’s dirty. It’s the most honest Christmas card you’ll ever send. And trust me, it’s way more fun watching your friends or family try to keep a straight face while reading it.

👉 Stop pretending you’re wholesome. Click that order button now and be the legend who put the word “erect” back into Christmas.

Why This Card Works Every Damn Time

Christmas is all about surprises, and this card nails it. On the outside, it looks like a standard holiday greeting – festive colors, innocent setup. But inside? Boom. One savage word: “Erect.” That’s the punchline. It’s quick, brutal, and funny as hell.

This is not your average card. It’s a rude holiday greeting card that works for friends, white elephant parties, or anyone who can handle a little adult humor with their eggnog. It’s simple, savage, and guaranteed to become the most talked-about gift of the night.

• Festive but filthy - looks normal outside, drops the punchline inside

• Premium cardstock - double-sided 14 pt, durable enough to last all season

• Perfect prank gift - stockings, white elephant, or roasting your buddies

• Includes envelope - for easy delivery or sneaky stocking stuffing

• Ships 100 percent anonymously - no way to trace the filth back to you

A Holiday Story They’ll Never Forget

Picture it: the family is passing around cards. Your cousin opens yours, expecting something heartwarming. He reads the front: “I Like You How I Like My Christmas Tree…” and everyone nods politely. Then he flips it open and sees “Erect.” The room goes silent for a second. Then absolute chaos. Drinks are spilling. Grandma gasps. Your friends are on the floor laughing. Someone’s filming it for TikTok.

By the next day, that card isn’t just sitting on the mantle – it’s become a story they tell every Christmas. And you? You’re the evil genius who pulled it off.

What You’re Really Sending

• Folded 4.25 x 5.50 inch Christmas card - perfectly sized for stockings or pranks

• Printed punchline - “I Like You How I Like My Christmas Tree – Erect”

• Premium 14 pt cardstock - double-sided, sturdy, high-quality print

• Cellophane-wrapped - delivered fresh, protected, and ready to shock

• White envelope included - classic packaging for maximum disguise

• Anonymous shipping - no branding, no return address, no guilt

This isn’t just another holiday card. It’s an adult Christmas card that turns a polite tradition into a savage punchline.

Make Christmas Hard Again

Why settle for boring Hallmark greetings when you can send the funniest, dirtiest Christmas card ever? The Christmas Tree Card is festive, rude, and perfect for friends with a sense of humor (or none at all).

👉 Stop being basic and send a Christmas card that’s erect, inappropriate, and unforgettable.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it is you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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