David Penis Shorts

David Penis Shorts

Because Subtlety Is Overrated When You’ve Got a Renaissance Package

Let’s be real: life’s too short for boring shorts. If you want to walk into a room, a beach, or a party and guarantee double-takes, giggles, and maybe even a few horrified gasps, you need the David Penis Shorts. These unisex novelty shorts take Michelangelo’s most famous statue and slap that glorious Renaissance bulge right where it belongs - front and center on your crotch.

👉 Don’t just wear clothes. Smash that order button now and be the legend who turned classic art into modern-day comedy gold.

Why You Need These Shorts in Your Closet

Here’s the thing: you could wear normal shorts and blend in. Or you could wear Michelangelo David shorts that make everyone laugh, snap pics, and question your life choices (in the best way possible). Whether you’re rocking them at a bachelor party, poolside, or just strutting through the gym like a boss, these shorts guarantee you’re the center of attention.

The fabric is stretchy, breathable, and surprisingly comfortable - so you’re not just making a statement, you’re making it in style. And with multiple outrageous designs like Italian Flag David, Beige David, and the ultimate Goliath versions, there’s a pair for every kind of chaotic energy.

• Outrageous Renaissance bulge design - inspired by Michelangelo’s David
• Unisex fit - one size fits all, because comedy has no gender
• Stretchy breathable fabric - comfy enough for gym, pool, or bad decisions
• Multiple bold styles - Italian Flag, Beige, and Goliath editions
• Ships 100 percent anonymously - no labels, no shame, just pure prank glory

A Story They’ll Tell Forever

Picture this: it’s your buddy’s bachelor party. Everyone’s hanging out by the pool. Then you show up in David penis shorts. Drinks spill. Phones whip out. Laughter explodes. Suddenly, you’re not just part of the party - you are the party.

Or maybe it’s a white elephant gift exchange. The poor soul who unwraps these shorts pulls them out, and the whole room loses it. By the end of the night, everyone’s tried them on, and the photos are already circulating the group chat with captions like, “Who wore it best?”

These shorts don’t just make a moment - they create a legend.

What You’re Really Getting

• Unisex novelty shorts - bold, shocking, and hilarious
• Michelangelo’s David print - front and center bulge for maximum effect
• Stretchy breathable fabric - comfy enough for hours of chaos
• One size fits all - perfect for anyone brave enough to rock them
• Anonymous shipping - no branding, no sender info, just Renaissance dick energy

This isn’t just clothing. This is funny men’s shorts that double as prank wear, party fuel, and a walking piece of art history gone wrong.

Make Your Entrance Unforgettable

Anyone can show up to the beach or a party in plain swim trunks. But if you want laughs, double-takes, and instant legend status, you roll in wearing the David Penis Shorts. They’re bold, they’re rude, and they’re the funniest thing you can possibly wear in public without getting arrested.

👉 Stop being basic and grab a pair of Michelangelo David shorts today. Because life’s too short not to make your shorts about dicks.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it is you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*