Dick Greeting Card - All I want for Christmas Is You
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100% Anonymous
and 100% Hilarious
Over 5000+ 5-star reviews since 2017
Description
Dick Greeting Card - All I Want for Christmas Is You
Finally, a Christmas Card That Says What You’re Actually Thinking
Let’s be honest: nobody actually wants socks, candles, or another tin of sugar cookies. What they do want is to laugh their ass off when they open a card that looks sweet and festive on the outside… and then screams the truth inside: “Your Dick.” That’s the magic of the All I Want for Christmas Is You Greeting Card. It’s bold, it’s filthy, and it’s the funniest way to tell someone exactly what’s on your wish list.
👉 Don’t settle for boring Hallmark crap. Smash that order button now and send a Christmas card that hits harder than spiked eggnog.
Why This Card Is the Perfect Holiday Prank
Christmas is full of fake smiles and polite “thank yous.” But this card cuts through the noise with savage clarity. On the outside, it plays nice with “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” Inside, it slaps them with the punchline: “Your Dick.”
It’s a prank, a gag gift, and a brutally funny confession all in one. Whether you’re sliding it into a stocking, throwing it into a white elephant exchange, or just roasting your partner with some raunchy holiday humor, this card is guaranteed to deliver laughs.
- Festive design - looks like a normal Christmas card until you open it
- Savage inside message - “Your Dick” in all its blunt glory
- Premium cardstock - 14 pt double-sided, sturdy AF
- Includes white envelope - for sneaky stocking stuffers or party reveals
- Ships 100 percent anonymously - no branding, no sender info, total deniability
A Christmas Story They’ll Never Forget
Picture it: everyone’s gathered around the tree, passing out cards. Your friend or partner smiles as they open yours. The front says, “All I Want for Christmas Is You,” and everyone’s thinking, “aww, that’s sweet.” Then they flip it open. Boom. “Your Dick.” The room explodes. Someone’s choking on eggnog. Someone else is doubled over in laughter. Grandma might faint, but that’s a risk worth taking.
Later, when the wrapping paper’s gone and the gifts are forgotten, people will still be talking about that one card that outshined everything else. That’s not just a Christmas card. That’s holiday history.
What You’re Really Sending
- Folded Christmas card - premium, glossy, and deceptively wholesome
- Front message - “All I Want for Christmas Is You”
- Inside punchline - “Your Dick,” printed big and bold
- 14 pt double-sided cardstock - durable enough to pin on the fridge all season
- Cellophane wrapped with envelope - clean, sharp, ready to shock
- Anonymous shipping - no trace, just festive filth delivered to their door
This isn’t just a card. It’s an inappropriate holiday greeting that puts every generic Hallmark to shame.
Give the Gift of Brutal Honesty
Why waste money on sappy cards that get tossed in the trash? The All I Want for Christmas Is You Greeting Card is cheeky, rude, and funny enough to become the highlight of Christmas morning. Whether it’s a prank, a gag gift, or a flirty message to your partner, this card makes sure your holiday wish is crystal clear.
👉 Don’t be basic. Order today and make this Christmas about laughs, chaos, and maybe even dick.
IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it is you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.
**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**
*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*
YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
IS THIS CHOCOLATE EDIBLE?
Sure is! Each ding Dong is hand crafted with care by a certified chocolatier. 100% vegan and they’re absolutely delicious.
SO... HOW BIG IS IT?
This chocoalte turd packs a bunch at 4OZ or lumpy, vegan chocolate goodness. Fake poop is the funniest when given anonymously.
WHEN WILL MY ITEM SHIP?
Since all our chocolate is made fresh, orders are typically shipped within 2-3 business days. The processing time is in addition to the shipping option you choose. Please be Aware that during busy times like holidays, processing May take a little longer than 3 business days.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH MELTING?
We have tested these chocolates in warm conditions and they went unmelted, but we’ve also had reports in mild climates where they were left on the doorstep in the Sun and did melt. If you are concerned about the possibility of melting we offer insulated shipping boxes with cold gel packs for a little extra.
HOW DO I KNOW MY TARGET RECEIVED THE PACKAGE (PUN INTENDED)?
Each package is tagged and easily tracked online through our shipment tracking service. Once it leaves our warehouse, you Will receive that tracking number so you can check on live updates as the package reaches it’s Target.
WHY?
Because what is better than sending an anonymous chocolate Dick to someone in the mail? There is something really special about knowing you have given something confusing with no hope of figuring out who the culprit is. That’s a special kind of torture.
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