Dick in a Box Christmas Card

Dick in a Box Christmas Card

The Only Christmas Card That Comes With Wood (Kind Of)

Forget boring Hallmark cards. Forget the glittery snowflakes, generic Santas, and sad puppy dogs in Santa hats. If you want to give someone a Christmas card they’ll actually remember, you send them the Dick in a Box Christmas Card. It looks innocent enough on the outside, wishing them a merry holiday… but the punchline delivers like a sleigh full of chaos. It’s cheeky, rude, and funny as hell - exactly what Christmas was missing.

👉 Don’t just hand out cards. Smash that order button now and send the only Christmas card bold enough to pack a dick in a box.

Why This Card Makes the Holidays Better

The holidays are full of fake cheer. People pretending to love fruitcake, cousins thanking you for socks, coworkers giving out cheap candles. But this card? This card cuts through the clutter with the subtlety of Santa falling off your roof. The Dick in a Box Christmas Card plays nice on the outside with “Merry Christmas... I Got You a Present.” Then it opens to reveal the savage truth - the present is a dick joke.

And that’s exactly why people love it. It’s festive enough to pass around at a white elephant exchange but filthy enough to make your friends howl with laughter.

• Festive front cover - “Merry Christmas... I Got You a Present”
• Blank inside - so you can add your own filthy or heartfelt message
• Premium cardstock - heavy-duty, double-sided, high-quality print
• Includes envelopes - matching A2 envelope plus bonus 5x7 for delivery options
• Ships 100 percent anonymously - no branding, no sender info, no regrets

A Christmas Story That Will Outshine the Tree

Picture this: it’s Christmas morning. Stockings are opened, gifts are exchanged, and then someone pulls out your card. They smile at the festive cover, thinking you’ve gone sweet for once. They open it... and realize they’ve just been served a Dick in a Box.

The room goes silent for two seconds. Then laughter erupts like champagne. Someone spits out their mimosa. Someone else’s coffee ends up on the rug. Grandma might clutch her pearls, but everyone knows you just won Christmas.

Fast forward a week - the gifts are forgotten, but your card is still pinned to the fridge, making people laugh every time they walk past it. That’s not just a card. That’s a Christmas legend.

What You’re Really Sending

• Folded 4.25 x 5.5 inch Christmas card - perfect stocking stuffer size
• Festive print on the front - “Merry Christmas... I Got You a Present”
• Blank inside - write something sweet, stupid, or straight-up savage
• Premium heavy cardstock - thick, durable, feels legit in your hands
• Matching A2 envelope plus extra 5x7 envelope - double the options, double the laughs
• Cellophane sleeve packaging - protected and pristine until it’s time to shock
• Anonymous shipping - nobody knows you sent it but you

This isn’t just a Christmas card. This is an adult holiday gag gift that takes the classic Dick in a Box joke and turns it into paper form - festive, filthy, and unforgettable.

Deck the Halls With Dicks in Boxes

Why waste money on sappy cards that get tossed in the trash when you can send one that guarantees laughs? The Dick in a Box Christmas Card is rude, funny, and perfect for friends, white elephant exchanges, or anyone who deserves a little festive chaos.

👉 Stop being boring. Order today and be the legend who made Christmas about more than just presents - it’s about dicks in boxes.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it is you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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