Dick in a Box Christmas Card
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100% Anonymous
and 100% Hilarious
Over 5000+ 5-star reviews since 2017
Description
Dick in a Box Christmas Card
The Only Christmas Card That Comes With Wood (Kind Of)
Forget boring Hallmark cards. Forget the glittery snowflakes, generic Santas, and sad puppy dogs in Santa hats. If you want to give someone a Christmas card they’ll actually remember, you send them the Dick in a Box Christmas Card. It looks innocent enough on the outside, wishing them a merry holiday… but the punchline delivers like a sleigh full of chaos. It’s cheeky, rude, and funny as hell - exactly what Christmas was missing.
👉 Don’t just hand out cards. Smash that order button now and send the only Christmas card bold enough to pack a dick in a box.
Why This Card Makes the Holidays Better
The holidays are full of fake cheer. People pretending to love fruitcake, cousins thanking you for socks, coworkers giving out cheap candles. But this card? This card cuts through the clutter with the subtlety of Santa falling off your roof. The Dick in a Box Christmas Card plays nice on the outside with “Merry Christmas... I Got You a Present.” Then it opens to reveal the savage truth - the present is a dick joke.
And that’s exactly why people love it. It’s festive enough to pass around at a white elephant exchange but filthy enough to make your friends howl with laughter.
- Festive front cover - “Merry Christmas... I Got You a Present”
- Blank inside - so you can add your own filthy or heartfelt message
- Premium cardstock - heavy-duty, double-sided, high-quality print
- Includes envelopes - matching A2 envelope plus bonus 5x7 for delivery options
- Ships 100 percent anonymously - no branding, no sender info, no regrets
A Christmas Story That Will Outshine the Tree
Picture this: it’s Christmas morning. Stockings are opened, gifts are exchanged, and then someone pulls out your card. They smile at the festive cover, thinking you’ve gone sweet for once. They open it... and realize they’ve just been served a Dick in a Box.
The room goes silent for two seconds. Then laughter erupts like champagne. Someone spits out their mimosa. Someone else’s coffee ends up on the rug. Grandma might clutch her pearls, but everyone knows you just won Christmas.
Fast forward a week - the gifts are forgotten, but your card is still pinned to the fridge, making people laugh every time they walk past it. That’s not just a card. That’s a Christmas legend.
What You’re Really Sending
- Folded 4.25 x 5.5 inch Christmas card - perfect stocking stuffer size
- Festive print on the front - “Merry Christmas... I Got You a Present”
- Blank inside - write something sweet, stupid, or straight-up savage
- Premium heavy cardstock - thick, durable, feels legit in your hands
- Matching A2 envelope plus extra 5x7 envelope - double the options, double the laughs
- Cellophane sleeve packaging - protected and pristine until it’s time to shock
- Anonymous shipping - nobody knows you sent it but you
This isn’t just a Christmas card. This is an adult holiday gag gift that takes the classic Dick in a Box joke and turns it into paper form - festive, filthy, and unforgettable.
Deck the Halls With Dicks in Boxes
Why waste money on sappy cards that get tossed in the trash when you can send one that guarantees laughs? The Dick in a Box Christmas Card is rude, funny, and perfect for friends, white elephant exchanges, or anyone who deserves a little festive chaos.
👉 Stop being boring. Order today and be the legend who made Christmas about more than just presents - it’s about dicks in boxes.
IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it is you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.
**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**
*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*
YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
IS THIS CHOCOLATE EDIBLE?
Sure is! Each ding Dong is hand crafted with care by a certified chocolatier. 100% vegan and they’re absolutely delicious.
SO... HOW BIG IS IT?
This chocoalte turd packs a bunch at 4OZ or lumpy, vegan chocolate goodness. Fake poop is the funniest when given anonymously.
WHEN WILL MY ITEM SHIP?
Since all our chocolate is made fresh, orders are typically shipped within 2-3 business days. The processing time is in addition to the shipping option you choose. Please be Aware that during busy times like holidays, processing May take a little longer than 3 business days.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH MELTING?
We have tested these chocolates in warm conditions and they went unmelted, but we’ve also had reports in mild climates where they were left on the doorstep in the Sun and did melt. If you are concerned about the possibility of melting we offer insulated shipping boxes with cold gel packs for a little extra.
HOW DO I KNOW MY TARGET RECEIVED THE PACKAGE (PUN INTENDED)?
Each package is tagged and easily tracked online through our shipment tracking service. Once it leaves our warehouse, you Will receive that tracking number so you can check on live updates as the package reaches it’s Target.
WHY?
Because what is better than sending an anonymous chocolate Dick to someone in the mail? There is something really special about knowing you have given something confusing with no hope of figuring out who the culprit is. That’s a special kind of torture.
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