Eat a Dick Pillow
Free Express Shipping on all orders over 30.00
100% Anonymous
and 100% Hilarious
Over 5000+ 5-star reviews since 2017
Description
e Pillow That Says What You’re Thinking
At first? It’s a shiny, innocent-looking gold sequin pillow.
Swipe your hand across it? Boom. EAT A DICK.
Surprise. Sass. Sparkle. It's the decorative throw pillow you didn’t know your couch (or frenemy) needed. Whether you're spicing up your living room or dropping the ultimate petty gift, this baby delivers glittery aggression with style.
Why it's perfect:
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Looks classy until it gets sassy
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Swipe to reveal your true feelings
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Great for naps, better for shade
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Guaranteed to offend at least one relative
Add to cart. Ruin someone’s day. 💁♂️✨
YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
IS THIS CHOCOLATE EDIBLE?
Sure is! Each ding Dong is hand crafted with care by a certified chocolatier. 100% vegan and they’re absolutely delicious.
SO... HOW BIG IS IT?
This chocoalte turd packs a bunch at 4OZ or lumpy, vegan chocolate goodness. Fake poop is the funniest when given anonymously.
WHEN WILL MY ITEM SHIP?
Since all our chocolate is made fresh, orders are typically shipped within 2-3 business days. The processing time is in addition to the shipping option you choose. Please be Aware that during busy times like holidays, processing May take a little longer than 3 business days.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH MELTING?
We have tested these chocolates in warm conditions and they went unmelted, but we’ve also had reports in mild climates where they were left on the doorstep in the Sun and did melt. If you are concerned about the possibility of melting we offer insulated shipping boxes with cold gel packs for a little extra.
HOW DO I KNOW MY TARGET RECEIVED THE PACKAGE (PUN INTENDED)?
Each package is tagged and easily tracked online through our shipment tracking service. Once it leaves our warehouse, you Will receive that tracking number so you can check on live updates as the package reaches it’s Target.
WHY?
Because what is better than sending an anonymous chocolate Dick to someone in the mail? There is something really special about knowing you have given something confusing with no hope of figuring out who the culprit is. That’s a special kind of torture.
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