Love you With All My Farts

Nothing Says Romance Like Four Hours of Farts

Look, anyone can scribble “I love you” on a card and call it a day. That’s amateur hour. If you actually want to show your partner how much you really care, you gotta bring the heat… or in this case, the gas. Enter the Love You With All My Farts card - a Valentine’s masterpiece that loops nonstop farting love songs for up to four hours straight.

Yes, four hours. Four hours of wet, juicy, “did-they-just-shit-themselves?” audio designed to turn your romantic dinner into the most awkward, hilarious night of your lives. And because we’re evil geniuses, the card also hides a glitter bomb that detonates if they try to destroy it. Love hurts, baby.

👉 Want to be the Valentine they’ll never forget? Send them a symphony of farts. Add this card to your cart right now.

Why This Farting Valentine’s Card Is Pure Genius

Because love is funny. Love is gross. Love is sitting on the couch together and crop-dusting each other during Netflix. Anyone can buy chocolates or flowers, but only legends give a farting Valentine’s Day card.

It’s the perfect balance of romance and roast. On the outside, it looks sweet. On the inside? It’s pure chaos - fart tracks blasting on loop, no off switch, no mercy. That’s how you say “I love you” without being a boring cliché.

Imagine the Scene

It’s Valentine’s Day dinner. Candles lit. Wine poured. You hand them a pretty card. They open it. Suddenly, the air is filled with an endless symphony of farting love songs. Their jaw drops. Your eyes water - from laughter and maybe from the sheer bass in those fart notes.

They panic, try to close it. Nope, it keeps playing. They try to rip it apart. Boom - glitter everywhere. Now you’re both crying, laughing, covered in sparkles, and realizing this is the most memorable Valentine’s you’ll ever have.

What You’re Actually Getting

• Premium cardstock card printed with a cheeky Valentine’s design
• Endless fart audio track that loops for 2 to 4 hours
• Hidden glitter bomb that explodes if they try to silence it
• “Safe mode” option so you can still write your heartfelt roast inside
• Envelope included, shipped 100% anonymously (so Grandma doesn’t know you’re sending fart bombs)

This isn’t just a greeting card. It’s a full-blown prank engineered for maximum chaos and comedy.

Perfect Use Cases

• Valentine’s prank. Skip the cheesy hearts and hit them with cheek-squeaks instead.
• Romantic roast. Because love means never having to say “excuse me.”
• Cheeky anniversary gift. Surprise them with a card that sings from the butt.
• Gag gift exchange. Forget the mug, gift a fart symphony.
• Revenge laugh. Payback never smelled so sweet (or so loud).
• Anonymous surprise. Because nothing says mystery admirer like four hours of farts.

Be the Legend of Valentine’s Day

You don’t want to be the forgettable partner who shows up with drugstore chocolates. You want to be the absolute maniac who gave their loved one a farting Valentine’s card that glitter-bombed their living room. That’s how stories get told for years. That’s how you become unforgettable.

👉 Don’t wait. Order the Love You With All My Farts card now. Because love stinks - and that’s exactly the point.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it’s you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*

***NOTE: If you are ordering the card activated, we assume the next person who opens the card is the recipient. That means, when the card is opened next, it will be triggered - no turning off, no take backs.***