Happy Birthday, DICKHEAD – The Only Card They’ll Actually Remember 🎂🍆
Some birthdays deserve balloons, cake, and heartfelt wishes. Others deserve one thing only: a card that screams “Happy Birthday DICKHEAD” so loudly it might as well come with a megaphone.
This isn’t your grandma’s Hallmark card. This is the roast, the punchline, and the gift all in one. It’s blunt, it’s brutal, and it’s the ultimate way to tell your friend, sibling, or co-worker you love them enough to call them exactly what they are.
👉 Stop giving boring cards they toss in the trash. Give the card they’ll never forget - the Happy Birthday DICKHEAD Greeting Card.
Why This Card Works Better Than Cake
Let’s be real. Most birthday cards are a waste of trees. You read the same tired “Hope your day is as special as you are” crap, fake a smile, and stuff it in a drawer. Snooze.
This card? It lands like a shot of tequila on an empty stomach. Fast, painful, but damn effective.
Made from premium 14 pt double-sided cardstock, this bad boy measures 4.25 x 5.50 inches of pure honesty. It comes with a crisp white envelope, cellophane wrapped to protect its rude glory, and ships 100% anonymously. That means you can slide it across the table with a smirk or mail it without your name and leave them wondering which one of their friends roasted them.
Who Needs a “Happy Birthday DICKHEAD” Card?
Short answer: Everyone who thinks they’re too cool for birthday cards. Long answer:
- Your brother who still owes you money – He won’t pay you back, but he’ll laugh.
- Your best friend who can’t stop roasting you – Time to return fire.
- The co-worker who thinks they’re hot shit – Leave it on their desk, watch the chaos.
- Milestone birthdays – 21, 30, 40, 50. Any age is the right age to be called a dickhead.
- Anonymous chaos – Because nothing says “friendship” like confusion and dick jokes.
This card is perfect for birthdays, gag gift exchanges, roasts, or any moment you want to punch through the boring with something brutally funny.
Product Details
- Size: 4.25 x 5.50 inches
- Material: Premium double-sided 14 pt cardstock
- Design: Bold “Happy Birthday DICKHEAD” print
- Includes: White envelope + protective cellophane wrap
- Shipping: 100% anonymous for max prank potential
Imagine This Scene…
It’s their birthday. They’re grinning, surrounded by balloons, cake, and cards filled with heartfelt messages. Then they open yours.
The room goes silent for a beat, then BOOM - laughter erupts. They’re holding the most savage, most honest, most memorable card of the night. Everyone takes pictures. It gets talked about for weeks.
One customer review nailed it: “Best birthday card I’ve ever given. My buddy laughed so hard he spit beer across the table. Totally worth it.”
That’s what this card does. It doesn’t just say Happy Birthday - it makes the whole damn party.
Don’t Be a Boring Friend
If you want to be the person who gives socks and generic gift cards, fine. But if you want to be the legend who makes birthdays unforgettable, this is your move.
👉 Click Add to Cart and send the Happy Birthday DICKHEAD Greeting Card today. It’s cheap, hilarious, and guaranteed to earn you laughs, side-eye, or both.
