Happy Birthday Dickhead!

Happy Birthday, Dickhead! 🎉 The Card That Won’t Shut Up

Every birthday card sings the same tune. Balloons, cake, heartfelt messages… blah, blah, blah. But you’re not here to wish someone a “magical day.” You’re here to roast your buddy so hard they’ll still be laughing when they blow out their dentures.

Enter the Happy Birthday Dickhead Card – the loudest, rudest, most relentless piece of birthday chaos you’ll ever send. This thing doesn’t just deliver a message. It moans. Nonstop. For hours. And when your victim gets desperate enough to rip it apart? Boom – they’re covered in glitter. Because one prank isn’t enough.

👉 Stop pretending you care about Hallmark crap. Give them the birthday card they actually deserve - one that calls them a DICKHEAD and backs it up with three hours of adult sound effects.

Why This Card Hits Harder Than Any Roast

Sure, you could just say “Happy Birthday” like a normal person. But where’s the fun in that?

This card is a two-part trap. Open it once and you unleash an endless loop of moaning that can last up to three hours. It’s annoying, hilarious, and impossible to ignore. Try to shut it off? Good luck – there’s no “stop” button. Tear it apart in frustration? Congratulations, now you’ve got a glitter bomb exploding in your lap.

Made from thick, premium cardstock and shipped 100% anonymously, this card is the ultimate blend of class and chaos. It looks like a regular greeting card on the outside, but the inside is pure prank genius.

Who Deserves a “Happy Birthday Dickhead” Card?

• Your buddy who thinks they’re too old for pranks – perfect time to prove them wrong.
• The friend who always roasts you – here’s your revenge.
• The co-worker who won’t shut up about their birthday month – teach them humility.
• Milestone birthdays – nothing says “40” like nonstop moaning and a face full of glitter.
• Any true dickhead in your life – and let’s be honest, we all know at least one.

This card isn’t subtle. It’s savage. And that’s exactly why people love it.

Product Details

• Material: Premium cardstock with bold “Happy Birthday Dickhead” print
• Special Feature: Moans for up to 3 hours straight when opened
• Hidden Surprise: Glitter bomb inside if destroyed
• Includes: Envelope + 100% anonymous shipping
• Result: Maximum laughs, zero regrets

Picture This…

Your friend tears into their birthday cards. The usual suspects: a $20 bill from grandma, a “special day” message from mom, and then yours.

They open it. Suddenly, moaning echoes across the room. People freeze. Laughter explodes. They try to shut it off. It won’t stop. The sound follows them into the kitchen, the bathroom, the garage. In a fit of rage, they rip it open.

And then - glitter everywhere. Their shirt, their hair, their carpet. A sparkling reminder that you won this birthday war.

One customer review put it best: “Best prank ever. My brother was losing his mind after 20 minutes. When he finally tore it apart, the glitter went everywhere. 10/10 would buy again.”

Be the Birthday Legend

You could be boring. You could give them socks, a gift card, or a bottle of booze. Or… you could give them something they’ll never forget. Something they’ll laugh about for years. Something that guarantees you’ll be remembered as the friend who absolutely nailed their birthday.

👉 Don’t wait. Click Add to Cart and send the Happy Birthday Dickhead Card today. It’s rude, it’s loud, it’s messy – and it’s perfect.

NOTE: If you order the card activated, we assume the next person who opens the card is the recipient. That means when it’s opened, it will trigger and you will not be able to turn the sound off.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it’s you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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