Happy Birthday to You and Your Saggy Melons! - Glitter Bomb Card

Happy Birthday to You and Your Saggy Melons! - Glitter Bomb Card

You know that one friend who insists they’re still “29 again” while their boobs are losing the fight with gravity? Yeah, this card is for them. The Happy Birthday to You and Your Saggy Melons! Glitter Bomb Card is the kind of savage, laugh-out-loud prank that makes birthdays unforgettable - because nothing says “I love you” quite like an explosion of sparkly titty glitter all over their living room carpet.

And here’s the kicker: it’s shipped 100% anonymously. So they’ll be vacuuming their rug, cursing the heavens, and wondering which one of their so-called “friends” is a certified asshole. Spoiler: it’s you.

👉 Don’t overthink it. Send this glitter bomb birthday card today, sit back, and let chaos reign.

Why This Card is Pure Evil Genius

Because glitter is the herpes of the craft world - once it’s out, it never goes away. This prank birthday card is packed to the brim with shiny little bastards that will cling to their couch, their dog, their hair, and maybe even their actual saggy melons if they’re not careful.

Everyone sends boring birthday cards. Snooze. A glitter bomb card, though? That’s a prank that hits on multiple levels. It’s shocking, hilarious, petty, and memorable. This thing turns a “happy birthday” into a full-on revenge laugh.

Picture This

Your friend opens the envelope thinking they’ve scored a cute card. The second they flip it open - BOOM. A tidal wave of sparkling titty glitter bursts out like a Vegas strip show exploded in their kitchen. They’re covered, their floor is covered, and their birthday is officially ruined in the best way possible.

This isn’t just a gag gift - it’s a full-blown experience. You’re not giving them a card. You’re giving them a story they’ll never forget.

Features That Make It Deliciously Cruel

• Cheeky “Saggy Melons” design - because nothing says happy birthday like roasting their aging boobs.
• Explodes with glitter - a glitter bomb card packed to the brim with sparkly hell.
• Made from thick cardstock - sturdy enough to survive the mail and deliver maximum chaos.
• Includes envelope - so it looks deceptively sweet before the carnage.
• Ships 100% anonymously - you’re safe, but your friendship? That’s another story.

Real-Life Roast Fuel

One buyer sent it to their brother’s 40th birthday. Result? He found glitter in his beard a week later. Another sent it to their bestie who “hates surprises” - let’s just say her living room looked like a strip club sneezed all over it. People don’t just laugh at this glitter card prank. They howl. They scream. They plot revenge. And isn’t that what birthdays are all about?

Don’t Just Send Love - Send Mayhem

Most people think a birthday card is supposed to make someone smile. Wrong. A birthday card should make them cry tears of laughter while plotting your downfall. That’s what glitter bomb birthday cards do. They take a normal day and crank the dial to “utter chaos.”

So, if you’re ready to step up from boring gag gifts and weak pranks, the Saggy Melons glitter bomb mail prank is your weapon of choice.

👉 Click the button, enter their name and address, and fire this glitter bomb straight into their mailbox. Don’t be the lame friend who shows up with socks and cake. Be the legend who sends titty glitter.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you actually put your recipient’s name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise, guess who’s eating a bag of dicks when the glitter explodes? You. And you deserve it.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older.**

*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer.*

***NOTE: If you are ordering the card activated, we assume the next person who opens the card is the recipient. That means when it’s opened, it’s triggered - no turning off, no take backs.***

Now stop stalling. Go full savage. Send the Happy Birthday to You and Your Saggy Melons! Glitter Bomb Card today and let the titty prank glitter chaos begin.