Happy Birthday to You and Your Tiny Penis

Happy Farter's DayHappy Birthday to You and Your Tiny Penis - Glitter Bomb Card

You know what’s better than cake, balloons, or that fake smile when someone sings “Happy Birthday” off-key? Watching your friend open a card that tells them point blank: Happy Birthday, Tiny Penis. And not just a card - a goddamn glitter bomb card that explodes all over their house like a disco grenade.

This isn’t some weak Hallmark crap. This is a savage roast in cardstock form. A prank birthday card built for chaos. They’ll never forget the day you turned their milestone into a glitter-covered humiliation parade.

👉 Stop being a boring gift-giver. Be the legend who ruined their carpet, destroyed their ego, and made the entire party laugh. Order this tiny penis glitter bomb now.

Why This Prank Is Comedy Gold

Let’s face it - birthdays are the perfect time to roast your friends. They’re older, slower, probably balder, and now you get to remind them their dick is small too. Nothing bonds people quite like a little NSFW humiliation wrapped in a sparkly mess.

The genius behind a glitter bomb card is that glitter never goes away. It’s like a permanent tattoo for their furniture. Every time they find another shiny speck weeks later, they’ll remember you - the friend who made their birthday unforgettable.

How It Plays Out

Imagine this. Your buddy grabs the envelope, thinking, “Aw, sweet, someone sent me a card.” They rip it open, smiling like an idiot, and - BOOM - the room explodes in shimmering chaos. Their couch is coated. Their shirt is ruined. Their hair looks like it lost a fight with a stripper pole.

And right there, in bold, mocking letters: Happy Birthday, Tiny Penis.

Customer reviews say it all. One person wrote, “Best $15 I’ve ever spent. My roommate is STILL vacuuming.” Another said, “I sent this to my brother for his 40th. He laughed so hard he choked on his beer. Glitter still in his car a month later.”

What You’re Actually Sending

• Cheeky “Tiny Penis” theme - subtlety is dead, and so is their pride.
• Exploding glitter action - a glitter bomb birthday card packed full of sparkly hell.
• Made from thick cardstock - durable enough to survive shipping and explode on cue.
• Includes envelope - so it looks sweet and innocent… until it’s not.
• Shipped 100% anonymously - they’ll never know it was you, unless you brag.

Why Settle for Boring?

You could send socks. You could send cash. Hell, you could even send a normal birthday card. But that’s weak. Forgettable. Pathetic.

Or, you could be the villain-hero who dropped a Happy Birthday penis prank into their mailbox, showered their house in glitter, and gave them a story they’ll be telling (angrily) for years.

👉 Click “Add to Cart” and make this the funniest - and most NSFW - birthday they’ve ever had. Don’t be lame. Be legendary.

IMPORTANT:

Make sure you actually put your recipient’s name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it’s you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer.*

***NOTE: If you are ordering the card activated, we assume the next person who opens the card is the recipient. That means, when the card is opened next, it will be triggered and you will not be able to turn the sound off.***