Happy Fucking Birthday Glitter Bomb Card

Happy Fucking Birthday Glitter Bomb Card

Here’s the truth: birthdays aren’t about getting older. They’re about reminding your friends they’re one year closer to death while showering them in chaos. And nothing says “I love you, you miserable bastard” like a Happy Fucking Birthday Glitter Bomb Card.

This is not some Hallmark snoozefest. This is a birthday card that literally explodes with glitter - non-toxic, shiny, eternal glitter that sticks to everything like regret after tequila shots. The bold “Happy Fucking Birthday” on the front is savage enough. But when they open it? Boom. Their whole living room now looks like a drag queen exploded in it.

👉 Don’t send boring cards. Send the glitter bomb that makes their birthday unforgettable, messy, and 100% hilarious.

Why This Card Works Every Time

Because glitter is the herpes of the craft world. Once it’s out, it’s never going away. You could vacuum, shower, move houses - doesn’t matter. That glitter will haunt them. And that’s exactly why this glitter bomb birthday card is the ultimate prank gift.

Sure, you could buy them socks or a bottle of whiskey. But those are just gifts. This is a story. Every time they see a stray sparkle on their carpet, they’ll remember that you’re the asshole who sent it. And they’ll laugh. Or cry. Either way, you win.

Imagine the Scene

Your buddy is sitting at a table surrounded by family, friends, maybe even coworkers. They get an envelope. They think, “Wow, someone actually sent me a card!” They open it. And then it happens - a tidal wave of glitter explodes out, coating their lap, the table, and probably their dog.

On the inside? Blank, so you can write whatever cruel or sweet message your twisted little heart desires.

One buyer said: “Sent this to my brother for his 30th. He’s still vacuuming three weeks later. 10/10 would ruin his life again.” Another wrote: “Perfect for my best friend who hates glitter. She screamed, I laughed, we’re still not speaking.”

Why This Happy Fucking Birthday Card Rules

• Bold AF front design - no flowers or bunnies, just straight to the point: Happy Fucking Birthday.
• Explodes with glitter - a prank birthday card designed to create maximum chaos.
• Made from high-quality cardstock - durable enough to hold all that sparkling revenge.
• Blank interior - for your custom roast, insult, or fake heartfelt note.
• Includes envelope - looks innocent until the explosion.
• Shipped 100% anonymously - they’ll never know it was you (unless you can’t stop laughing).

Stop Being Basic

Everyone else is going to show up with boring-ass gifts. A candle. A gift card. Maybe a shitty balloon. Don’t be that guy. Be the legend who turned their birthday into a glitter-coated disaster they’ll remember forever.

👉 Click “Add to Cart” now, send this glitter bomb card, and make sure their next birthday is the funniest one yet. Be bold. Be petty. Be unforgettable.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you actually put your recipient’s name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it’s you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer.*

***NOTE: If you are ordering the card activated, we assume the next person who opens the card is the recipient. That means, when the card is opened next, it will be triggered and you will not be able to turn the sound off.***