Love Bag of Dicks - A Heartfelt Gift

The Sweetest Way to Say “Eat a Bag of Dicks”

Forget roses. Forget teddy bears. Forget every cliché Hallmark aisle disaster. If you actually want to make Valentine’s Day unforgettable, you don’t show up with another stuffed bear that’ll end up in a closet. You send them what they really deserve - a bag of dicks. Fruity, chewy, delicious gummy dicks, all wrapped up in a heart-covered Valentine’s bag that screams romance while flipping the bird at tradition.

This is the only Valentine’s gift where they’ll laugh, cry, and maybe even pop one in their mouth without hesitation. It’s bold, it’s hilarious, and it tastes way better than your average gag gift.

👉 Don’t be boring. Click “Add to Cart” now and send someone you love (or hate) a literal bag of dicks.

Why the Love Bag of Dicks Works Every Time

Because it’s impossible to top. Anyone can pick up chocolates or flowers - yawn. But when they rip open this heart-covered pouch and find ten penis-shaped gummies smiling back at them? That’s when you win Valentine’s Day.

These aren’t just some throwaway candy dicks either. They’re fruity, chewy, and made to be eaten. Sweet on the tongue, salty in the humor. It’s a perfect balance.

• Valentine’s Day prank. Ditch the corny shit and hand over a heart full of gummy cocks.
• Romantic roast. Perfect for couples who laugh more than they cuddle.
• Single friend therapy. Nothing heals a lonely Valentine’s like a bag of dicks.
• Gag gift exchange. Skip the socks. Drop a sack of gummy peckers in the pile.
• Random Tuesday. Because love should be weird, not boring.

This is how you say “I care about you” without ever saying the words.

Story Time: How It Plays Out

Picture this: it’s Valentine’s night. Your partner thinks you’ve gone traditional. Cute little bag covered in hearts, right? They open it up expecting truffles or something mushy. Instead - boom - they’re staring at a rainbow of gummy dicks. Shock. Laughter. Maybe a “what the fuck?” And then, because they’re actually tasty, they pop one in their mouth.

Suddenly, your Valentine’s roast has turned into a snack. That’s how legends are born.

What You’re Really Getting

Every Love Bag of Dicks comes with:

• A heart-covered Valentine’s bag, because subtlety is dead
• Ten fruity gummy dicks in assorted flavors
• Sweet, chewy texture that’s as good as any candy you’d buy for yourself
• 100% anonymous shipping (so your mom won’t judge you when she grabs the mail)

This isn’t just a joke. It’s a whole experience. From the packaging to the first bite, it’s the perfect mix of rude and sweet.

Be the Hero, Not the Snooze

You don’t want to be the guy or girl who handed over boring flowers and got forgotten in a week. You want to be the story they tell their friends: “Remember when you gave me an actual bag of dicks for Valentine’s?” That’s legendary. That’s love.

So, stop scrolling. Be bold. Send the funniest, sweetest, dick-shaped candy gift on Earth.

👉 Order your Love Bag of Dicks today. It’s the only Valentine’s gift that says “I love you” and “go fuck yourself” at the exact same time.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it’s you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*