Jingle Balls Porn Noise Sound Christmas Card

Jingle Balls Porn Noise Sound Christmas Card

The holidays are all about tradition - family dinners, ugly sweaters, and pretending you don’t hate your in-laws. But if you’re tired of boring-ass Christmas cheer, it’s time to drop the Jingle Balls Porn Noise Sound Christmas Card into someone’s life.

This thing looks like a normal holiday card, but the second it’s opened - WHAM - it unleashes loud, embarrassing porn noises that loop on repeat for up to four goddamn hours. Moans, groans, slaps, squeals - the kind of noises that make Grandma’s face go pale and have the kids asking way too many questions. And if your victim finally snaps and destroys the card to stop the moaning? BOOM. A hidden glitter bomb detonates, leaving their house sparkling like Santa dropped his stripper fund all over the living room.

👉 Don’t just give a card. Deliver chaos, humiliation, and a story that’ll haunt their family Christmas forever.

Why This Christmas Prank Works Every Time

Because Christmas cards are predictable as hell. Same dumb poems, same stock photos of snowflakes and pine trees. Nobody remembers them five minutes later. But this? This porn noise prank card is unforgettable.

The sounds keep looping endlessly. Closing it doesn’t help. Hiding it doesn’t help. The only escape is tearing it apart, which triggers the glitter bomb. It’s evil genius.

Picture the Scene

It’s Christmas morning. The family is cozy around the tree. Mom’s got her coffee, kids are tearing into gifts, Grandpa’s in the recliner farting softly into his plaid blanket. Then your cousin, sibling, or co-worker opens this card.

Suddenly, the room fills with porn-level moaning and spanking noises. At first, everyone bursts out laughing. But then it keeps going. Louder. Longer. Nonstop. They slam it shut. Still going. They run outside to the porch. Still moaning. Finally, in desperation, they rip it apart - and instantly get showered in glitter.

One reviewer wrote: “My brother opened this at our family Christmas party. He tried to act chill, but the moaning went on for 20 minutes before he lost it and ripped it up. Glitter EVERYWHERE. My mom still hates me. Worth it.”

Why People Love the Jingle Balls Christmas Card

• Nonstop porn noises - loops up to four hours without mercy.
• Hidden glitter bomb - explodes if they try to kill it.
• Safe mode - lets you write your own twisted holiday message inside before activation.
• Made from premium cardstock - sturdy enough to take a beating.
• Includes envelope - so it looks innocent until it’s too late.
• Shipped 100% anonymously - they’ll never know you did it.

Be the Legend of Christmas

This isn’t just a gag gift. This is the card people will talk about for years. Your family, friends, or coworkers will never forget the year porn noises and glitter hijacked Christmas morning. While everyone else is handing out socks, candles, and gift cards, you’ll be the one who brought absolute chaos in an envelope.

👉 Click “Add to Cart,” send the Jingle Balls Porn Noise Christmas Card, and guarantee your prank becomes the story of the holiday. Don’t just spread cheer - spread moans, groans, and glitter.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you actually put your recipient’s name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it’s you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer.*

***NOTE: If you are ordering the card activated, we assume the next person who opens the card is the recipient. That means, when the card is opened next, it will be triggered and you will not be able to turn the sound off.***