Jingle My Balls Greeting Card

Name: Jingle My Balls Greeting Card
Brand: Dicks By Mail
Price: 8.99 USD
Availability: InStock

$8.99 USD

Jingle My Balls Greeting Card

Christmas is all sugar cookies and “Silent Night” until you roll up with this bad boy. Forget boring Hallmark snowflakes - the Jingle My Balls Greeting Card is the holiday roast disguised as a wholesome card. Open the envelope and BAM - bold, cheeky lettering that reads Jingle My Balls. Subtle? Hell no. Memorable? Absolutely.

If you’re tired of the same old socks and scented candles, this card is your ticket to being the funniest bastard at the Christmas party. It’s simple, it’s crude, and it guarantees laughs.

👉 Stop pretending to care about spreading “holiday cheer.” Send this card and spread ball jokes instead.

Why This Card Slaps Harder Than Eggnog

Because holiday cards are usually boring as hell. You open them, read two lines of fake joy, and toss them in the trash. But this? This one gets framed on the fridge. It gets shown to friends. It gets remembered years later when someone says, “Hey, remember the time you got that card that literally said Jingle My Balls?”

This isn’t just a card - it’s a holiday prank that works for Secret Santa, family roasts, or just letting your buddy know you’re nuts about them.

Picture the Scene

It’s the office holiday party. Karen from accounting is handing out sugar cookies. Jeff’s boring-ass card says “Season’s Greetings.” Then your gift gets opened. Out comes this card with the giant, unapologetic message: Jingle My Balls.

The room loses it. Drinks are spit out. Phones are whipped out for photos. Suddenly you’re the hero of the night.

One buyer wrote: “Got this for Secret Santa, and the whole room howled. My coworker taped it to his cubicle wall.” Another said: “Sent it to my brother across the country. He called me laughing his ass off. Honestly the best Christmas card ever.”

Why People Love the Jingle My Balls Card

Cheeky AF design - says what everyone’s thinking, but no one says.
Premium double-sided 14 pt cardstock - sturdy enough to make the joke land.
Includes white envelope - so it looks innocent until it’s opened.
Perfect for Christmas pranks - Secret Santa, office gag, or family roast.
Shipped 100% anonymously - so you can stir shit up without getting caught.

Don’t Be a Snooze at Christmas

Everyone else is giving out fruitcake, candles, or Starbucks gift cards. Yawn. You? You’re giving the card that makes people cry-laugh while Aunt Linda clutches her pearls. This is how you win Christmas without even spending a fortune.

👉 Click “Add to Cart,” send the Jingle My Balls Greeting Card, and guarantee your holiday prank is the one people actually remember.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you actually put your recipient’s name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it’s you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer.*

“Absolutely hilarious! Got a ton of laughs at the office. This is such a good gag gift”

Where You've Seen Us

100% ANONYMOUS
SHIPPING

LAUGHS
GUARANTEED

HANDCRAFTED, VEGAN
CHOCOLATE

LOVED BY
70,000+PEOPLE

FAST AND SECURE
SHIPPING

YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED

IS THIS CHOCOLATE EDIBLE?

Sure is! Each ding Dong is hand crafted with care by a certified chocolatier. 100% vegan and they’re absolutely delicious.

SO... HOW BIG IS IT?

This chocoalte turd packs a bunch at 4OZ or lumpy, vegan chocolate goodness. Fake poop is the funniest when given anonymously.

WHEN WILL MY ITEM SHIP?

Since all our chocolate is made fresh, orders are typically shipped within 2-3 business days. The processing time is in addition to the shipping option you choose. Please be Aware that during busy times like holidays, processing May take a little longer than 3 business days.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH MELTING?

We have tested these chocolates in warm conditions and they went unmelted, but we’ve also had reports in mild climates where they were left on the doorstep in the Sun and did melt. If you are concerned about the possibility of melting we offer insulated shipping boxes with cold gel packs for a little extra.

HOW DO I KNOW MY TARGET RECEIVED THE PACKAGE (PUN INTENDED)?

Each package is tagged and easily tracked online through our shipment tracking service. Once it leaves our warehouse, you Will receive that tracking number so you can check on live updates as the package reaches it’s Target.

WHY?

Because what is better than sending an anonymous chocolate Dick to someone in the mail? There is something really special about knowing you have given something confusing with no hope of figuring out who the culprit is. That’s a special kind of torture.