Merry DicksMas Greeting Card

The Only Christmas Card That Pops a Dick in Your Face

Forget reindeer. Forget snowflakes. Forget whatever boring-ass Hallmark card your grandma keeps on the mantel. This Christmas, give the gift that truly keeps on giving - a Merry DicksMas Greeting Card that literally pops open with a 3D penis inside.

That’s right. While everyone else is swapping glittery snowmen and generic “Happy Holidays,” you’ll be the legend who made Uncle Joe spit out his spiked eggnog when a cardboard cock came springing out of a Christmas card.

👉 Want to be remembered long after the ham is carved and the tree is taken down? Click “Add to Cart” right now and deliver the most offensive, hilarious Christmas gift of the season.

Why This Works Better Than Any Normal Christmas Card

Because Christmas cards are usually boring as hell. Who remembers another cookie-cutter design with a snow-covered church on the front? Nobody. But you know what they’ll never forget? The moment they opened a festive card that screamed “Merry DicksMas” and smacked them in the face with a pop-up peen.

It’s not just a card. It’s a story. A roast. A prank. A reason for everyone to laugh, gag, and talk about you long after the lights come down.

Picture the Scene

The family is gathered around the tree. Kids are distracted by toys. Adults are sipping drinks. Someone opens a card from you. They’re expecting a heartfelt “Season’s Greetings.”

Instead… BAM. A giant cardboard dick springs up, pointing right at their holiday spirit. There’s a half-second of shock. Then the laughter hits. Suddenly, the night just got 100 times better, and you’ve officially won Christmas.

What You’re Getting

• Premium double-sided 14 pt cardstock - sturdy enough to keep that pop-up penis proud
• Festive “Merry DicksMas” design on the front
• A glorious 3D penis surprise inside
• White envelope included so it looks all wholesome before the chaos
• Cellophane wrapped for delivery
• Shipped 100% anonymously, so the postman won’t know you’re Santa’s dirtiest little helper

This isn’t a throwaway gag. It’s a premium-quality dick card built to shock, offend, and delight all at once.

When to Use the Merry DicksMas Card

• Christmas prank. Because nothing spreads holiday cheer like a pop-up penis.
• Secret Santa gag. Put this in the pile and watch the chaos unfold.
• Office holiday roast. Because Karen from accounting needs to loosen up.
• Cheeky family joke. For the relatives who can handle a laugh.
• Gag gift exchange. Way better than a lame candle.
• Anonymous surprise. For that special someone who needs a stiff reminder of your existence.

Don’t Be the Forgettable One

Nobody remembers the guy who gave out standard cards. They remember the maniac who mailed out “Merry DicksMas” and turned Christmas Eve into a dick-themed comedy show.

So stop being basic. Be bold. Deliver a dick for Christmas and go down in holiday history.

👉 Order the Merry DicksMas Greeting Card now. Because nothing says “season’s greetings” like a cardboard cock in a festive envelope.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it’s you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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