


Same Dick Forever Card

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100% Anonymous
and 100% Hilarious

Over 5000+ 5-star reviews since 2017
Description
Same Dick Forever: The Valentine’s Card That Tells It Like It Is
Forget roses, chocolates, or those sappy Hallmark cards with cursive font and fake poetry. If you’ve been together long enough, you already know the deal - you’re stuck with the same dick forever. And nothing says “romance” like brutally honest humor wrapped in premium cardstock. The Same Dick Forever Card is the bold, hilarious, and slightly offensive way to remind your partner that monogamy is basically a lifetime warranty on their genitals.
👉 Stop pretending you’re Nicholas Sparks. Be real, be funny, and make them laugh so hard they choke on their champagne. Click buy now and lock in the only Valentine’s card worth giving - the one that says it how it is.
Why You Need This Savage Love Note
Every year, couples recycle the same tired routine. Flowers. Dinner. A card that says “to the love of my life” like it wasn’t printed by a machine in a warehouse. Snooze. You want something that’s funny, memorable, and guaranteed to get a reaction. That’s what this Same Dick Forever Valentine’s Day card delivers.
- Funny AF - A blunt reminder that romance is great, but monogamy is hilarious.
- Premium Cardstock - 14 pt, double-sided print, built to last longer than your honeymoon phase.
- Perfect Size - 4.25 x 5.5 inches, includes a crisp white envelope.
- Wrapped & Ready - Cellophane packaging makes it feel classy - until they read it.
- Shipped Anonymously - Because even romance deserves a little secrecy.
This isn’t just a Valentine’s card. This is a dickatyourdoor greeting card that turns anniversaries, bachelorettes, or any “I love you” moment into a mic-drop joke.
Story Time: When Emily Got Her Forever Dick
Emily thought she was getting jewelry. She opened a tiny box, found the Same Dick Forever card folded neatly inside, and almost spit out her wine. The whole dinner table went silent, then erupted in laughter. Her boyfriend? Crying with pride. Her best friend? Already ordering one for her fiancé. That’s the thing about this card - it doesn’t just say “Happy Valentine’s Day.” It says, “Congrats, babe, you signed up for a lifetime subscription to my junk.”
That’s why people love it. It’s not just a card. It’s a memory.
What You’re Actually Getting
- A Card That Pulls No Punches - “Same Dick Forever” printed loud and clear.
- Premium Build - Quality cardstock so it doesn’t bend like your willpower on Tinder.
- Envelope Included - Because you’re not a total savage.
- Perfect for Every Occasion - Valentine’s, anniversaries, bachelorette parties, or just a random Tuesday flex.
- Anonymous Shipping - Delivered discreetly so the mailman doesn’t judge.
Don’t Just Say “I Love You” - Say It With a Dick Joke
Romance is cool, but honesty is hilarious. This card is for the couples who roast each other daily, the lovers who think sarcasm is their love language, and the partners who know laughter lasts longer than flowers. If you’re bold enough to admit you’re in this for the same dick forever, then this card is your perfect wingman.
👉 Stop scrolling. Stop overthinking. Be the partner who gives the only Valentine’s Day card worth framing. Order now and give them a forever memory - with a forever dick.
IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.
**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**
*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*



YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
IS THIS CHOCOLATE EDIBLE?
Sure is! Each ding Dong is hand crafted with care by a certified chocolatier. 100% vegan and they’re absolutely delicious.
SO... HOW BIG IS IT?
This chocoalte turd packs a bunch at 4OZ or lumpy, vegan chocolate goodness. Fake poop is the funniest when given anonymously.
WHEN WILL MY ITEM SHIP?
Since all our chocolate is made fresh, orders are typically shipped within 2-3 business days. The processing time is in addition to the shipping option you choose. Please be Aware that during busy times like holidays, processing May take a little longer than 3 business days.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH MELTING?
We have tested these chocolates in warm conditions and they went unmelted, but we’ve also had reports in mild climates where they were left on the doorstep in the Sun and did melt. If you are concerned about the possibility of melting we offer insulated shipping boxes with cold gel packs for a little extra.
HOW DO I KNOW MY TARGET RECEIVED THE PACKAGE (PUN INTENDED)?
Each package is tagged and easily tracked online through our shipment tracking service. Once it leaves our warehouse, you Will receive that tracking number so you can check on live updates as the package reaches it’s Target.
WHY?
Because what is better than sending an anonymous chocolate Dick to someone in the mail? There is something really special about knowing you have given something confusing with no hope of figuring out who the culprit is. That’s a special kind of torture.
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