Stay Classy Glitter Bomb Card
Free Express Shipping on all orders over 30.00
100% Anonymous
and 100% Hilarious
Over 5000+ 5-star reviews since 2017
Description
Stay Classy Glitter Bomb Card: The Holiday Greeting from Hell
Tired of giving boring Christmas cards with cheesy poems and snowmen that look like they’re begging for death? Yeah, same. That’s why the Stay Classy Glitter Bomb Card exists. On the outside, it looks like a cheeky holiday card printed with “Stay Classy, Santa Doesn’t Need Any More Ho’s.” But the real magic happens when they open it. Thanks to a hidden glitter bomb mechanism, this bad boy detonates a sparkly storm of shiny chaos all over their living room. Ho ho holy sh*t, right?
👉 Don’t be the person who hands out safe, polite holiday greetings. Be the legend who mails a glitter bomb card that ruins carpets and lives. Click buy now and spread holiday cheer - or holiday chaos. Same thing.
Why This Card Beats Every Other Holiday Greeting
Glitter is basically herpes for your house - once it’s there, it never leaves. That’s why this card is pure evil genius. It looks innocent enough, comes in a matching envelope, and even has blank space for your own message. But once it’s opened - BOOM - a cascade of sparkly doom showers your victim and everything they love. It’s not just a card. It’s a memory they’ll be vacuuming up until Easter.
- Premium Cardstock - Built strong enough to hold your words and their regret.
- Hidden Glitter Bomb - Spring-loaded chaos packed with shiny revenge.
- Cheeky Holiday Design - “Stay Classy, Santa Doesn’t Need Any More Ho’s.”
- Blank Interior - Add a sweet note, savage roast, or breakup line before detonating.
- Anonymous Shipping - They’ll never know it was you behind the sparkle crime.
This isn’t a card. This is a Christmas glitter bomb prank disguised as wholesome holiday cheer.
Story Time: When Jason Opened His “Gift”
Jason was at the office Secret Santa party. Everyone’s opening mugs and chocolates like the boring bastards they are. Then Jason rips open his envelope and boom - a blizzard of glitter bursts into the air. His black sweater now looks like a disco ball. His desk? Ruined. His coffee? Extra sparkly. Everyone laughed, Jason swore, and three weeks later he was still finding shiny flecks in his car.
That’s what the card glitter bomb does. It doesn’t just prank - it dominates the holiday season.
What You’re Really Sending
- One Folded Greeting Card - Looks classy, acts trashy.
- Hidden Glitter Bomb Mechanism - Silent until it detonates in their hands.
- Premium Cardstock - High quality, double-sided print.
- Envelope Included - Because you’re not a total monster.
- Optional Note - Add your own roast to make it personal.
- Anonymous Guarantee - 100% discreet shipping.
Don’t Just Say “Merry Christmas” - Say It with Glitter Vengeance
Holiday cards are forgettable. This? This is unforgettable. Whether it’s for a cheeky Secret Santa prank, a Christmas revenge joke, or just stuffing a stocking with chaos, the Stay Classy Glitter Bomb Card is the move that guarantees you’ll be the funniest person in the room - even if they hate you for it.
👉 Stop scrolling. Stop overthinking. Order now and give them the one Christmas card they’ll still be talking about long after the tinsel is gone.
IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it’s you that ends up with the glitter bomb card, albeit deservedly.
**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**
*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*
***NOTE If you are ordering the card activated, we assume the next person who opens the card is the recipient. That means, when the card is opened next, it will be triggered and you will not be able to turn the sound off.***
YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
IS THIS CHOCOLATE EDIBLE?
Sure is! Each ding Dong is hand crafted with care by a certified chocolatier. 100% vegan and they’re absolutely delicious.
SO... HOW BIG IS IT?
This chocoalte turd packs a bunch at 4OZ or lumpy, vegan chocolate goodness. Fake poop is the funniest when given anonymously.
WHEN WILL MY ITEM SHIP?
Since all our chocolate is made fresh, orders are typically shipped within 2-3 business days. The processing time is in addition to the shipping option you choose. Please be Aware that during busy times like holidays, processing May take a little longer than 3 business days.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH MELTING?
We have tested these chocolates in warm conditions and they went unmelted, but we’ve also had reports in mild climates where they were left on the doorstep in the Sun and did melt. If you are concerned about the possibility of melting we offer insulated shipping boxes with cold gel packs for a little extra.
HOW DO I KNOW MY TARGET RECEIVED THE PACKAGE (PUN INTENDED)?
Each package is tagged and easily tracked online through our shipment tracking service. Once it leaves our warehouse, you Will receive that tracking number so you can check on live updates as the package reaches it’s Target.
WHY?
Because what is better than sending an anonymous chocolate Dick to someone in the mail? There is something really special about knowing you have given something confusing with no hope of figuring out who the culprit is. That’s a special kind of torture.
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