The Naughty Valentine’s Edible Arrangement: Chocolate Dicks, Gummy Dicks & Chocolate Buttholes

The Naughty Valentine’s Edible Arrangement – Because Roses are Dead and You’re a Menace

Forget the tired box of chocolates and wilted roses. If you really want to make someone laugh, blush, and question all their life choices in one bite, you send them The Naughty Valentine’s Edible Arrangement: Chocolate Dicks, Gummy Dicks & Chocolate Buttholes. Yeah, you read that right. It’s not just dessert - it’s a middle finger dipped in cocoa and wrapped in sugar.

This isn’t your grandma’s Valentine’s candy. This is handcrafted chaos disguised as confectionery love. You get a “Be Mine” solid milk chocolate dick, a “Nuts About You” dark chocolate dick loaded with crunchy nuts, a set of sinful “Eat Ass” dark chocolate buttholes, and a rainbow of fruity gummy dicks to chew on all night long. Sweet, chewy, nutty, and rude as hell. Packaged together, it’s the most NSFW edible arrangement ever invented - and it ships 100% anonymously.

👉 Stop being boring. Make this Valentine’s one they’ll never shut up about.

Why Send This Edible Disaster?

Because Valentine’s is about making memories, not Hallmark moments. Anyone can send strawberries. Anyone can send boring edible arrangements. But only legends send a gourmet box of chocolate dicks and buttholes with gummies on the side. It’s rude, it’s ridiculous, and it tastes way better than it has any right to.

Here’s what makes this bundle the GOAT:

• Solid “Be Mine” Milk Chocolate Dick - Thick, creamy, unapologetically phallic.
• “Nuts About You” Dark Chocolate Dick - Crunchy, nutty, and so on-the-nose it hurts.
• “Eat Ass” Dark Chocolate Buttholes - Bite-sized and deliciously inappropriate.
• Fruity Gummy Dicks - Sweet, chewy, rainbow chaos to finish the set.
• Premium Ingredients - Ethically sourced cacao, quality molds, hand-poured perfection.
• Shipped 100% Anonymously - Nobody will know it was you (unless you want the credit).

A Gift They’ll Never Forget

Picture this: it’s Valentine’s night. They’re expecting a cute little edible arrangement, maybe chocolate strawberries or a heart-shaped cookie bouquet. They peel open the wrapping and - BAM - a dick and butthole buffet hits the table. At first, they’re shocked. Then they’re laughing so hard they can’t breathe. Five minutes later, they’re biting into a chocolate asshole while texting everyone they know.

Or maybe you’re rolling into a Galentine’s party. You don’t show up with wine like everyone else. You drop this edible grenade on the table. Suddenly, the party has a centerpiece - and it’s shaped like everything your mom told you not to talk about in public.

One reviewer summed it up perfectly: “This was the filthiest and funniest Valentine’s gift I’ve ever given. My boyfriend died laughing, then died again from a sugar coma. 10/10 would send again.”

What’s in the Naughty Box

• “Be Mine” Solid Milk Chocolate Dick
• “Nuts About You” Dark Chocolate Dick with Crunchy Nuts
• “Eat Ass” Dark Chocolate Buttholes (set of four)
• Fruity Gummy Dicks in assorted flavors
• All premium, handcrafted, and packaged for maximum shock value

Be the Hero of Bad Decisions

This Valentine’s, don’t be predictable. Don’t be safe. Be the asshole who sent an edible arrangement of chocolate dicks and gummy dicks. It’s bold, it’s filthy, it’s hilarious, and it’s actually delicious.

👉 Click the button. Send the only Valentine’s gift that guarantees laughter, side-eyes, and possibly a breakup text. Go all in. Be unforgettable.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient’s name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it’s you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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