Love of My Life Pop Up Card

The “I Love You, But Also Eat a Dick” Valentine’s Card

Let’s be real: saying I love you has gotten boring. Flowers? Snooze. Chocolates? Done to death. Jewelry? Congrats, you just bought the most predictable gift in history. But you know what no one sees coming? A Valentine’s Day card that literally pops open with a giant 3D penis and screams “EAT A DICK.”

That’s love, baby. Raw, unapologetic, laugh-your-ass-off love.

👉 If you want to give your partner a gift they’ll never forget, this is it. Stop scrolling, click buy, and deliver a card that’s equal parts romantic and ridiculous.

Why This Dirty Valentine’s Day Card Works

Because humor beats cheesy every single time. Anyone can hand over a mushy card with a sappy poem inside. But when your partner opens this one and gets greeted by a proud cardboard cock springing out of the fold? That’s when you know you’ve leveled up.

It’s funny, it’s shocking, it’s a little rude, and honestly - it’s way more memorable than anything you’d find in the Target aisle.

Imagine the Scene

It’s Valentine’s Day. You’re sitting across the table at dinner. Your partner thinks you’re being sweet, handing them a “Love of My Life” card wrapped in an envelope. They smile, they open it… BAM. Out pops a dick, straight up like Cupid on Viagra. The table next to you gasps, your partner spits out their wine, and suddenly everyone’s laughing.

Now tell me - do you think they’re gonna forget that moment? Hell no.

What You’re Getting

• Premium double-sided 14 pt cardstock - strong enough to support that glorious pop-up peen
• Bold Valentine’s design with the message “EAT A DICK” hidden inside for maximum shock value
• White envelope included, because even chaos deserves presentation
• Cellophane wrapped and shipped 100% anonymously (so the mailman won’t know you’re a romantic freak)

This is a card built for chaos, crafted for comedy, and guaranteed to make Valentine’s night a lot more fun.

The Perfect Use Cases

• Valentine’s prank. Skip the Hallmark crap and give them the only card they’ll still be laughing about a week later.
• Romantic roast. Because true love means you can clown on each other endlessly.
• Cheeky anniversary gift. Surprise them when they least expect it.
• Bachelorette party laugh. Nothing says “cheers to the bride” like a giant cardboard dick in a card.
• Birthday gag. Who says dick cards are just for Valentine’s?
• Anonymous surprise. Because why not freak someone out for fun?

Be the Funniest Valentine They’ve Ever Had

The truth is, love should be fun. It should be weird, inappropriate, and full of stupid inside jokes. That’s exactly what this dirty romantic greeting card delivers. Whether you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day, an anniversary, or just want to roast your partner, this card nails it.

So don’t be basic. Don’t be boring. Be unforgettable.

👉 Order the Love of My Life Pop Up Card now and show them your love with a little cardboard dick magic.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. 

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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