

You Make My Heart Explode!

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100% Anonymous
and 100% Hilarious

Over 5000+ 5-star reviews since 2017
Description
You Make My Heart Explode! Glitter Bomb Card
Boom. That’s the sound of your dignity exploding in a cloud of glitter. If you’ve ever wanted to tell someone “I love you” and “go f*** yourself” at the exact same time, then congratulations. You just found the perfect card.
The You Make My Heart Explode! glitter card isn’t a cute Hallmark moment. It’s a trap. On the outside, it looks like a sweet little Valentine’s Day or anniversary card. On the inside, it’s a full scale glitter bomb ambush. The second they open it, they’re showered in shiny chaos that clings to clothes, hair, pets, and probably their sex life for the next six months.
Order now and turn a boring card exchange into a glorious disaster they’ll never forget.
Why This Card Hits Harder Than Cupid’s Arrow
Anyone can buy flowers or chocolates. Boring. But sending someone a card that literally explodes in their face? That’s not just memorable, that’s iconic. Whether it’s a Valentine’s Day prank, a cheeky birthday surprise, or revenge for that one time they “forgot” your anniversary, this glitter card prank is the ultimate way to say you care… and also that you’re an asshole.
And let’s be real. Everyone hates glitter. It’s the herpes of arts and crafts. It never goes away. So every time they vacuum, find it in their shoe, or see it on their cat’s tail, they’ll think of you. That’s what we call long term emotional ROI.
Story Time: When Love Goes Boom
One customer said they sent this to their best friend as a joke for her birthday. She opened it in her car. Three months later, her dashboard still looked like a strip club floor on dollar dance night. Another guy sent it to his girlfriend for Valentine’s Day. She laughed, she cussed him out, and then she admitted it was the best card she’d ever gotten.
That’s the magic here. This card is not just paper and glitter. It’s chaos wrapped in cardstock. It’s romance with a punchline. It’s the difference between “thanks for the card” and “you motherf***er, I’ll never forgive you but also I love you.”
What You’re Getting
- Premium quality greeting card with a bold “You Make My Heart Explode” design
- Hidden glitter bomb mechanism that detonates when the card is opened
- Blank interior so you can still write something sweet, savage, or both
- Matching envelope for delivery
- Ships 100 percent anonymously for maximum surprise factor
How to Use It Like a Legend
Step one: Buy the card. Step two: Write your note inside (optional, but highly recommended if you want to twist the knife). Step three: Seal it, send it, and wait for the meltdown.
Great for:
- Valentine’s Day pranks that leave a mark
- Birthday surprises that literally explode
- Anniversaries where you want to keep things “spicy”
- Revenge laughs when subtlety just won’t cut it
- Random Tuesday chaos because why not
Time to Pull the Trigger
If you’ve been looking for a glitter card prank that takes ordinary romance and lights it on fire, this is it. Stop pretending you’re going to send something thoughtful. You’re not that person. You’re the person who buys a card that detonates glitter all over someone’s life and then laughs about it for weeks. Own it.
Click buy now and send the card that says “I care” and “I’m a menace” all at once.
IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient’s name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it is you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.
**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**
*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*
***NOTE If you are ordering the card activated, we assume the next person who opens the card is the recipient. That means, when the card is opened next, it will be triggered and you will not be able to turn the sound off.***



YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
IS THIS CHOCOLATE EDIBLE?
Sure is! Each ding Dong is hand crafted with care by a certified chocolatier. 100% vegan and they’re absolutely delicious.
SO... HOW BIG IS IT?
This chocoalte turd packs a bunch at 4OZ or lumpy, vegan chocolate goodness. Fake poop is the funniest when given anonymously.
WHEN WILL MY ITEM SHIP?
Since all our chocolate is made fresh, orders are typically shipped within 2-3 business days. The processing time is in addition to the shipping option you choose. Please be Aware that during busy times like holidays, processing May take a little longer than 3 business days.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH MELTING?
We have tested these chocolates in warm conditions and they went unmelted, but we’ve also had reports in mild climates where they were left on the doorstep in the Sun and did melt. If you are concerned about the possibility of melting we offer insulated shipping boxes with cold gel packs for a little extra.
HOW DO I KNOW MY TARGET RECEIVED THE PACKAGE (PUN INTENDED)?
Each package is tagged and easily tracked online through our shipment tracking service. Once it leaves our warehouse, you Will receive that tracking number so you can check on live updates as the package reaches it’s Target.
WHY?
Because what is better than sending an anonymous chocolate Dick to someone in the mail? There is something really special about knowing you have given something confusing with no hope of figuring out who the culprit is. That’s a special kind of torture.
This product is rated 4.7 of 5.0 stars.
It has received 165 reviews.