Eat a Dick - Original Greeting Card

The Most Honest Greeting Card Ever Made

Forget “Happy Birthday” or “Best Wishes.” That’s amateur hour. Sometimes the only appropriate thing to say is: “Eat a dick.” And now you can say it with the kind of flair Hallmark would never dare touch - a greeting card that literally pops open with a 3D penis inside. The Eat a Dick - Original Greeting Card is rude, crude, and guaranteed to make jaws drop and laughter explode the moment it’s opened.

👉 Stop wasting money on boring cards. Order now and ship them a 3D dick-in-your-face greeting card that makes your message unforgettable.

Why This Isn’t Just Another Card

Most greeting cards end up in the trash within 24 hours. But not this one. This is the kind of card people keep tucked in a drawer to show friends for years, because who the hell throws away a 3D cock card? Made from premium 14 pt cardstock, this isn’t some flimsy paper joke either - it’s a legit, well-made card that happens to scream EAT A DICK in giant letters the second it opens.

It’s perfect for birthdays, gag gifts, bachelor and bachelorette parties, or that one friend who “accidentally” Venmo requested you for Taco Bell. If you want laughs, shock value, and a memory that sticks harder than glitter at a strip club, this card delivers.

• Bold 3D design - pops open with a penis and “EAT A DICK”

• Quality cardstock - double-sided 14 pt for a sturdy, premium feel

• Blank interior - add your own insult, joke, or heartfelt note (lol)

• Envelope included - ready to ship, slip, or drop anonymously

• Shipped 100% anonymously - no one will know you pulled the trigger

The Story That Makes It Legendary

Picture this: your buddy opens a stack of birthday cards. Snooze. Same old jokes. Then he gets to yours. It looks innocent enough. He opens it - and WHAM! A pop-up penis jumps to life with the words EAT A DICK blasting across the card. The room howls. Drinks spill. Phones record. He’s laughing, his mom’s laughing, even the dog looks offended. That card isn’t just a card - it’s the highlight of the night.

Or maybe you slip it into a white elephant gift exchange. Amid mugs, candles, and lame gag socks, your card detonates like a comedy nuke. Everyone’s crying with laughter, and the poor bastard who got it suddenly has the best “prize” in the game.

What You’re Really Sending

• A card that tells it like it is - no fluff, just a dick and a demand

• A quality build - premium cardstock, designed to last

• A pop-up surprise - 3D penis for maximum shock value

• An insult wrapped in laughter - rude but hilarious

• Anonymous delivery - they’ll never trace it back to you

This isn’t just a prank. It’s a statement piece. A dick greeting card that elevates pettiness into fine art.

When Words Aren’t Enough, Send a Dick

Don’t be that person who buys another boring card. Be the legend who sends the card that people actually remember. The Eat a Dick - Original Greeting Card is the fastest way to go from “forgettable” to “holy shit, that’s amazing” in less than five seconds.

👉 Click that order button now and send the funniest, filthiest, most brutally honest greeting card of all time.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it is you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*