Eat My Ass Chocolate Box

You know what’s better than roses, candles, and heartfelt words? Four milk chocolate buttholes staring someone dead in the eye while the inside of the box screams EAT MY ASS. Yeah. Forget Hallmark. This is the gift that leaves people laughing, blushing, or choking on their drink – sometimes all three at once.

Life’s too short for boring chocolates. This isn’t your grandma’s Whitman Sampler. This is butthole chocolate at its finest - creamy, rich, perfectly molded chocolate assholes that double as a treat and an insult. Sweet, cheeky, and just dirty enough to make it unforgettable.

👉 Here’s the move: Stop wasting money on flowers that die in 3 days. Drop a box of chocolate assholes into someone’s lap and watch your legend status rise. Whether you’re seducing, roasting, or pranking, this edible anus gets the job done.

Why Everyone Needs Chocolate Buttholes

Because life’s a lot more fun when you stop taking it so seriously. People remember bold gifts, not the 27th bag of heart-shaped Hershey’s. With the Eat My Ass Chocolate Box, you get:

• A laugh so hard someone might pee a little

• Milk chocolate that actually tastes amazing (unlike some cheap gag candy)

• A perfect mix of naughty, funny, and delicious

• Flexibility - works as a flirty Valentine’s gift, a Christmas prank, or just a casual “hey, eat my ass” moment between friends

Nobody brags about getting a Target gift card. But imagine someone opening a box of chocolate butt holes at Christmas dinner. You’ll be a legend for decades.

Real People. Real Chocolate Assholes.

One guy wrote us a review saying he gave the Eat My Ass Chocolates to his girlfriend. He was expecting her to roll her eyes. Instead, she burst out laughing, grabbed one of the chocolate anuses, and said “challenge accepted.” Fast forward… let’s just say the night ended better than expected.

Another customer sent it as a prank to his buddy. The friend opened it in front of their whole group, and now the phrase “pass the butthole candy” has basically become their inside joke for life. That’s the kind of impact you don’t get from basic-ass candy.

What’s Inside This Box of Chaos

When you buy the Eat My Ass Chocolate Box, you’re not just buying candy. You’re buying an experience. Each box includes:

• 4 handcrafted milk chocolate buttholes

• A sleek box that looks classy on the outside with “Sweet Treat Just For You” and “A ‘Hole’ Lot More Than Your Typical Treat” printed right on it

• The punchline inside: EAT MY ASS in big bold letters

• A treat that’s delicious, dirty, and perfect for turning any moment into a comedy show

This isn’t some cheap chocolate butt hole mold you find on sketchy corners of the internet. This is quality edible anus that melts smoothly and tastes just as good as it looks wrong.

When to Gift Chocolate Anus

• Valentine’s Day – skip the cliché teddy bear, give chocolate assholes instead

• Birthdays – nothing says “you’re old” like anal chocolate

• Christmas – imagine slipping these anus chocolates into a stocking

• Bachelor / bachelorette parties – because butthole candy is basically required

• Random Tuesdays – because sometimes you just want to tell someone “eat my ass” with a touch of sweetness

Stop Playing It Safe

Look, you could play it safe and buy “normal” gifts. But normal is boring. Safe is forgettable. And nothing about chocolate butthole candy is normal or safe. It’s ballsy, hilarious, and weirdly delicious. Exactly what the world needs more of.

👉 Here’s your moment: Click that buy button, send some Eat My Ass Chocolates, and cement your status as the funniest, boldest, most chaotic gift-giver in the crew. Don’t be basic. Be the one who gives chocolate assholes.