Admit it, we all have that one person in mind, who we want to gift the most confusing, hilarious, and outrageous present of all time. When it comes to such prankish endeavors, the product by Dick At Your Door – the “Eat a Dick” Chocolate Box – meets all the criteria for comedic gold.
But, there's always a lingering question - who deserves this “gift” the most this week?
After some deliberation, the answer is clear. The recipient who could use a good laugh (or maybe a surprise), is none other than Jeff Bezos.
Why Bezos, you ask? Well, let's break it down.
Truthfully, Bezos had this coming for quite a while now.
After resigning as Amazon's CEO in 2021, Bezos has focused his energy on his space company, Blue Origin. His "rocket-measuring" contest with fellow billionaires Richard Branson and Elon Musk has filled the media landscape and social feeds with space puns and a renewed interest in who's got the biggest...uh...rocket.
Jeff Bezos is not doing himself any favors with that Dr. Evil laugh 😭 pic.twitter.com/RsjL7bblBf— Wall Street Memes (@wallstmemes) July 20, 2021
Not to mention, Bezos can afford to take a joke. The world's richest man, who funded his own quick trip to space in 2021, surely won't mind a cheeky prank delivered to his doorstep.
He is known for his unique breathy laugh, after all, and we'd love to hear it echo through the halls of his multi-million dollar mansion when he receives his very own chocolate dick.
And given the ample dimensions of our product (we're talking about a hefty, girthy slab of chocolate here), this comes off as a perfectly hilarious gesture to mark the two-year anniversary of his rocket ride into space.
So here's how it's going to work:
Step one, we're picking the Surprise Box because, honestly, who wouldn't love the element of surprise here?
Step two, we're adding a message that reads, "Next time, maybe pick a less phallic spaceship?"
Step three, we're hoping Jeff has a sense of humor as vast as the Amazon (pun intended). We don’t want to risk our shopping privileges at Whole Foods - where else are we supposed to get a jar of organic olives for $22?
There you have it. This week's 'Dick of the Week' is Jeff Bezos, the billionaire who doesn't shy away from public attention, and hopefully, from a good joke too.
Order the “Eat a Dick” Chocolate Box for that special dick in your life, and remember - we're not just selling a product, we're creating unforgettable moments. Because, let's be honest, who's going to forget the day they received a dick at their door?
So, who's next on the list to deserve this unforgettable surprise? It could be a celebrity, a politician, a boss, a friend, or maybe even an alien from Bezos's next space tour.
Let your imagination run wild, because here at Dick At Your Door, we're all about making laughter contagious.