Be Mine - The Lover's Box

Sale price$19.99 USD Regular price$23.99 USD
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Be Mine - The Lover’s Box

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, Here’s a Chocolate Dick Just for You

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about candlelight, flowers, and sweet words… but let’s be honest, that’s boring. If you really want to make a statement, you don’t show up with chocolates in a heart-shaped box – you show up with a solid 5.5-inch milk chocolate dick dressed up in a “Be Mine” Valentine’s box. It’s romantic. It’s rude. It’s hilarious. And best of all? It actually tastes amazing.

👉 Don’t settle for cliché. Hit the order button now and be the legend who makes Valentine’s Day unforgettable with a dick in a box.


Why This Gift Hits Harder Than Flowers

Here’s the truth: flowers die, teddy bears get dusty, but a chocolate dick in a Valentine’s box is immortal. It’s the perfect way to say “I love you” or “I hate you” or “I couldn’t think of anything else so here’s a dick.” It works for lovers, exes, and friends who know how to laugh.

This isn’t gas station chocolate. This is handcrafted from ethically sourced Ecuadorian cacao beans, hand-ground and melted in Southern California, then molded into the funniest shape possible. It’s premium quality – wrapped in pure stupidity.

  • Perfect for Valentine’s Day - equal parts romantic and savage.

  • Actually delicious - rich milk chocolate that melts in your mouth (pun intended).

  • Premium packaging - “Be Mine” Valentine’s box on the outside, pure chaos on the inside.

  • Customizable - add an anonymous message that doubles down on the joke.

  • Ships 100% anonymously - no one will know it was you… unless you want them to.


The Story Writes Itself

Picture this: your partner thinks they’re getting something sweet. They see the “Be Mine” box, blush a little, maybe even think you’re finally being romantic for once. They open it slowly, expecting fancy truffles. And then… BAM. A giant chocolate dick stares back at them.

The room fills with laughter, maybe shock, maybe a little drool if they’re into it. Either way, you just created the most unforgettable Valentine’s memory of their life. That’s not just a gag gift – that’s a power move.


What’s Inside the Box

  • 5.5-inch solid chocolate dick - but go ahead and tell them it’s 7.

  • Ethically sourced cacao from Ecuador - quality chocolate wrapped in crude humor.

  • Handmade in Southern California - small batch, maximum laughs.

  • Valentine’s “Be Mine” packaging - sneaky sweet on the outside, filthy on the inside.

  • Optional custom note - from “Love You Forever” to “Choke on This.”

  • Anonymous shipping - ships direct, no sender info, total deniability.

This is more than a piece of candy. It’s a be mine valentine candy prank that doubles as a premium chocolate experience.


Be Mine… and Eat a Dick

If you want to be basic, grab a card and a box of Russell Stover. But if you want to be iconic, you send the Be Mine – Lover’s Box from DickAtYourDoor.com. Whether you’re saying “your dick is mine” or “eat a dick,” this gag gift delivers romance and roast all in one sweet package.

👉 Smash that order button now and send a chocolate dick that’ll outshine every boring bouquet this Valentine’s.


IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*

Where You've Seen Us

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Yup, you can send a Chocolate Dick to ANYONE

Send An Anonymous Chocolate Dick

Or don't, we don't care! Dick At Your Door is here for one thing only - to provide the best f*cking gag gifts you can get.

Cheers to making gift giving that much better

Let us gingerly touch our tips

Happy Birthday - Eat A Dick - DickAtYourDoor

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Customer Reviews

Based on 1407 reviews
87%
(1230)
8%
(107)
3%
(36)
1%
(10)
2%
(24)
P
Paul Munz
Workplace Fun

The items ordered were a hit a t work bringing laughter and endless jokes. The shipping takes a long time and the order arrived incorrect. After a couple emails the issue was resolved and had to wait a few more weeks till the fun could proceed. Once everything arrived the laughing and jokes were worth the wait.

P
Patrick Milutinovich

Everything was melted. Very disappointing! Sent an email and got no response

C
Codey Urban
Great except

Was great except the heat killed the gummies lmao they were melted by the time he opened them

W
Wesley Clay
They were melted

To be fair there was a heat wave last week. The card worked as stated but the aholes didnt survive the journey sadly.

N
Noah Young
Order

Hi, I was a little disappointed in the shipment because I paid for express and it didn't arrive until a week later. I tried to contact support with no reply and still haven't gotten one