Christmas Bag of Dicks

Nothing Says “Happy Holidays” Like a Sack Full of Festive Penises

Eggnog? Overrated. Candy canes? Boring. Fruitcake? Straight trash. You want to really spread Christmas cheer? Send someone a Christmas Bag of Dicks – a burlap sack stuffed with red and green gummy penises that taste as good as they look ridiculous. It’s festive, it’s fruity, and it’s the rudest stocking stuffer you’ll ever give.

👉 Stop being basic. Order now and be the legend who made the holidays about laughter, sugar, and a sack full of dicks.

Why This Gift Beats Socks and Candles

Let’s be real: holiday gifts are predictable as hell. Socks, wine, candles, maybe some bath bombs. Yawn. The Christmas Bag of Dicks is for people who want to send a message and a laugh. It’s part prank, part candy, and 100 percent unforgettable.

Each sack comes with 5 red and 5 green gummy dicks – chewy, fruity, and sealed fresh. Toss them in a stocking, slide them into a white elephant exchange, or hand them directly to your friend who won’t shut up about Christmas music in October. Either way, they’re about to unwrap pure chaos.

• Festive AF - 10 total gummies, half red and half green, for peak holiday spirit

• Delicious and dirty - fruity penises that actually taste amazing

• Burlap sack packaging - rustic on the outside, filthy on the inside

• Perfect prank gift - Christmas parties, bachelorettes, white elephant, you name it

• Ships 100 percent anonymously - safe for you, dangerous for them

A Christmas Story Worth Retelling

Picture Christmas morning. Your cousin’s opening socks. Your grandma’s unwrapping a blanket. Then it’s your friend’s turn. They open the sack, peek inside, and suddenly they’re holding a bag of candy dicks in front of the whole family. Everyone goes dead quiet for three seconds. Then the laughter starts.

By the time dinner rolls around, people are still joking about the “Christmas bag of penises” that stole the show. And every year after that, when someone mentions stockings, you’ll hear: “Remember when you gave me gummy dicks for Christmas?” That’s not just a gift – that’s a holiday legacy.

What’s Inside the Sack

• 10 fruity gummy dicks - 5 red, 5 green, each 2.5 inches of festive filth

• Novelty burlap bag - holiday rustic on the outside, rude surprise inside

• Sealed for freshness - chewy, fruity, and ready to eat

• Anonymous shipping - no sender info, no return address, just festive dick magic

This isn’t just candy. This is a holiday prank gift disguised as Christmas cheer.

Sack Up and Spread Holiday Chaos

Anyone can give boring gifts. But if you really want to win Christmas, you send a Christmas Bag of Dicks. It’s the perfect way to prank friends, roast your cousins, or just remind everyone that the holidays are supposed to be fun – not serious.

👉 Smash that order button and make this Christmas the one they’ll never forget, thanks to a sack of chewy red and green penises.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it is you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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